Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Back in Range...

Thank you all for your sweet comments. You are all so encouraging....and it really does help!

I am in the funk of funks. It stinks.

(Ironically, Matthew's BS is doing great. Those late-night-highs are getting better and he's really doing great.)

So.....what's my deal?

I think I'm worrying over all the "what ifs" in my life:

  • What if Matthew goes high?
  • What if we catch a low too late?
  • What if Kevin loses his job?
  • What if we don't have insurance?
  • What if he's denied a pump?
  • What if my car finally bites the dust?
  • What if Twister stays status quo? (It seems our adorable dog is always in the middle these days. Not well, but not close to death....just sick. It's coming out of both ends again. And it's really tough to know what to do.....the doctors don't know either.)
All these "what ifs" are playing around in my head and IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!

BUT there is not a thing I can do about any of those "what ifs"......

Except pray. Trust God. Try not to get mad at Him. (I was really mad at God yesterday. I know....I'm so dumb sometimes...) Take it one day at a time.

That's what I'm not doing. I keep forgetting to live life one day at a time.

Sigh.

Have I ever put a picture of our adorable dog on here? I can't remember....so I'll pop one on just in case. This is Twister.

8 comments:

Reyna said...

Hang in there friend...and it is OK to get mad. As with all things, it gets easier with time. You will still get angry and visit "the dark tunnel of despair" (that is what I call that place that I lived in for a good year and a half after Joe's diagnosis), but you will visit that place less and less often and your visits will become shorter...I hope. This is me speaking with only 4 years under my belt. I hear adolescence is ROUGH with "D"...so, I may change my "tune" on this topic in 6 years or so - lol.

Reyna said...

P.S. LOVE TWISTER - sorry that Twister is not feeling good...that definitely is not helping matters in your "FUNK DEPARTMENT". XOXO

phonelady said...

Is twister a sheltie ? I have been so worn out and have had nothing to blog about this whole week and i feel worn out .

Joanne said...

Sorry to hear about Twister... love the name and he (she?) sure is cute! I understand the funk. And I think it's okay to get mad at God every once in awhile. I know He can handle it.

Feel better!

Laura said...

Yea for good numbers!! I'm sorry your in a funk but it sounds like you are doing the right thing. :)

Oooh - Love Twister. Is he/she/it a sheltie or a collie?

Pam said...

Trust me, my Friend, this will pass. Hang on! You're doing great, Matthew's doing great. Trust in God, but don't forget to trust in yourself. You can do this - you WILL make it through.

Meri said...

Ebbs and flow. We all go through our ups and downs. Usually my downs start in the month of Aug. It is all part of our diabetic life. I hope your funk ends soon...leave it with the Lord. He will help if you ask. :)

And I'm sorry about your puppy. :(

Hallie said...

Some days are just like that. I have days where I'm mad. Angry. Happy. Worried. All of the above and more. I've learned that it's like waves in the ocean. One emotion rolls in. Sometimes it stays for awhile. But it always rolls out. So I try (TRY, mind you) to look for the beautiful shells while the tide is in because I know it's going back out again and what comes next will be different. I have no other advice because I battle the what ifs all the time, too. But I always try to remember - even when I'm mad as a hornet - that God was with on dx day - the worst day of my life- and he will be with me always. ((hugs))