Living With Type 1

I recently spoke with the CDE who is going to train us on the pump. He's a legend of sorts around here. He's now married with kids, but apparently when he was a younger, rather rambunctious boy.....he had a pump that he would swing around like a weapon! Needless to say, Matthew cannot wait to meet him!

Anyway, I know very few adults with Type 1, so talking with him on the phone recently was quite enlightening.

He said the hardest part of Type 1 is that it never ends.

He's a grown man, working to support his family....but he still has to check his sugar. Count his carbs. Calculate the appropriate insulin dosage.

He loves to watch his kids play sports! But even then, he's not 100% focused on his kids because the diabetes lurks in the back of his mind.

Vacations are never really vacations. Not for him. He still has to count his carbs. Check his sugar. Calculate the insulin.

You get the drill.

I don't let my mind go down this road very often, because it breaks my heart. It makes me so sad to think that Matthew will never get a break from diabetes.

Every single day.

Every single meal.

For the rest of his life.

He will be thinking about CARBS. And BLOOD SUGAR. And RATIOS. And ISF. And SITE CHANGES. And HIGHS. And LOWS. And A1C numbers.

He will never get a break.

Let's all pray for a cure. (Before the college years would be great!)

Guess What?!

I slept for 6 hours straight. A whole 6 hours!

Kevin and I have gotten on a routine where we'll take turns checking Matthew three nights in a row. It works great, but I always wake up when I hear Kevin go check. Then I won't fall back asleep until he comes back and I find out the number. So.....I never sleep through the night. Not really on purpose.....I can't help it.

But not last night, baby! Kevin said this was the first time since diagnosis (March!) that I didn't ask him what the number was because I was fast asleep. He couldn't believe it. Me either!

I will confess...I woke up at 4am in a total panic because I thought Kevin had slept through....and Matthew had been running low.....but no worries.

Kevin had checked.
Matthew was great.
And I had been sleeping.

Did you read that, People?!

I WAS SLEEPING!

Yay!

Thinking.....

Have you read Wendy's post from the other day?

Here is a portion of what she wrote:

I. CAN'T. HANDLE. THE. PRESSURE!!!!!! Over the past few years, I've had to make some trades for those A1c's and averages:
I've traded sleep.
I've gained 40 pounds.
I've screamed at people I care about.
I've lost my sense of organization.
I've forgotten how to make some of my family's favorite meals.
I've lost my train of thought so many times, I'm pretty sure people might think dementia is setting in.
I've forgotten things at work.
I've made silly mistakes in life...like putting my CELL PHONE IN THE DISHWASHER and washing it!
I've seen a direct correlation between the downfall of **ME** and the stability of her A1c's.

Wendy goes on to talk about changes she's made...the results...the need to get things back on track. It really opened my eyes.

When I read Wendy's words, I saw myself: The ugly truth is that I now need to lose 35 pounds. (That's up 15 from the 20 I needed to lose prior to diagnosis. ) I'm exhausted from the lack of sleep and like Joanne, I've aged a lot. Any bit of organization is gone. I never enjoyed cooking before and now it's pure torture. I forget things. I'm often grumpy. (That's tough for me because I'm usually really happy!)

One thing Wendy and I don't have in common---I haven't put my cell phone in the dishwasher! (Yet!!) But I did forget about my piano students one day and that was the final straw that started my 3 month battle with depression.

Anyway, the point is that Matthew is doing great, but I'm paying the price for that. If I keep it up, he'll start to pay the price. That is not what I want!!

So....I'm going to do what I did last year. Drumroll.......I started my New Year's Resolutions in December. Yep, by the time January rolled around, I was ALREADY in the groove. Isn't that smart?! I was training to run in my first 5K and felt great! I was consistent with my quiet time. House was organized. (Pretty much!) We were on a budget.....

Then March 5, 2010 hit and everything went south with Matthew's diagnosis.

BUT I've already started my resolutions for next year. Not really resolutions, but changes that I want to make.

1. I've ALREADY joined a gym AND I'm actually going.
2. I'm ALREADY being consistent with my quiet time and Bible study.
3. I've ALREADY started setting up a budget for next year.
4. We're starting the pump in 2 weeks, so we can be up and running by January. Yes, I'm ALREADY buried in the training manual. It feels like I'm back in college again, cramming for final exams.
5. And finally....I'm ALREADY working to get the house clean so when the new year rolls around, I can get back into my Fly Lady routine.

Does this make the holiday season more stressful? Not really. Making the changes now feels really good. I'm proud of myself.

I'm praying God can help me get back on track.

Pump Countdown

Yes, most families are counting down the days until Christmas (we are too!)

But in our house, we're adding in the "Pump Countdown!" Two weeks from today, we start.

I'll be honest, though....I'm getting a little nervous. I'm so happy about the freedom it will give Matthew. Being able to eat without a shot is going to be awesome for him! Isn't it amazing the things we take for granted?

Sometimes it just freaks me out a little to think that we're going to have a device hooked to him that will continuously give him insulin. I mean, it's good.....because without insulin he would die. But too much insulin will kill him. It's such a fine line to walk.

And there's no end. This is 24/7. Forever.

Sometimes I'm not as brave as I look.

Thank goodness Matthew is much braver than he looks!