You Won't Believe This.....

Yesterday it was one thing after another. 

It started with a pod failure DURING delivery of the morning bolus.

On a school day.

Just hours before a pizza party.

No joke.

Of course, with the failure the big question was....Did he get the insulin or not?  The PDM showed what amount he "supposedly" got.  I made calculations and gave him the rest once we changed the pod.

But....he checked after 1st period.  Over 300. 

Crap.  Yes, I hate it when words like that pop out of my mouth, but this 300 was causing serious problems because.......

Apparently, he did NOT get all the insulin.  OR

The new pod isn't working.....

(Keep in mind this is ON A SCHOOL DAY BEFORE A PIZZA PARTY!  My mind was racing trying to think through all the variables.)

Decided to go with a major correction, he got down to 277 by lunchtime.

Not really where I wanted him to be before loading him up with pizza.  But....

That's life sometimes.  Oh goody.

Good news though....in the end, diabetes did not win!

After school he was a beautiful 123 and he stayed in range the rest of the day.

(Well, to be honest, that rage bolus may have resulted in some minor low blood sugar.  Just 70s.  And I may have had to give a couple glucose tabs....and....half a juice box.  Whatever!.....I'm calling it VICTORY!)

Silly Boy

So I decide to get a little silly with Matthew.

I pick up his hand for a BG check:  "Okay, Fingers, which one of you wants to help me today?"

Matthew is the voice of his fingers:  "None of us.  We're all tired!"

We laughed and laughed.......

Thank you!

Dear Sweet D-Moms,

Thank you for your support and encouragement.  What would I do without you?!  (I don't want to know!)

Today is a brighter day, even though it;s cloudy outside, and you deserve much of the credit for that.

After much thinking and prayer, I have decided to do as many of you suggested.....relish in the fact that I know my child! 

True, I may not have a medical degree, but I'm a first class Doctor Mom.

Go me!

Poop on Diabetes

I'm in a diabetes funk.  Big time. 

And why?  Yesterday we got Matthew's A1C:  6.7

Doesn't get much  better than that, right?  I should throw a party.

But here I sit, completely overwhelmed and depressed.

We saw new endo yesterday.  And yes, overall I did like him and Matthew liked him....which matters a lot to me.

(Sidenote:  Mom and Dad, sorry I didn't tell you all this yesterday.  I was still processing the visit when we talked.....)

The quick version is that apparently Matthew has an unusual 8-10pm spike.  Though Reyna sees the same thing with Joe and boy does that make me feel better. (click here to read more.)

Anyway, when the doctor saw that Matthew's basal doubles from 6-10....well, let's just say it wasn't textbook and he wanted to change that.  (Has he met diabetes?)

He wanted me to lower it and see what would happen.  Gee....I never tried that....HA!

The second he left the room, I told Kevin there was no way I was going to lower his basal by that amount!  Kevin convinced me to talk to the doctor more about it.

Well, I do have a smart husband and I agreed with him.  I told the doctor my concerns.  Showed him the logbook..... He was polite, but felt confident his idea would work.  (Really?)

After some hesitation, I finally agreed.  After all, he is the one who went to medical school, right?

Dinner BG 86
Two hours after dinner:  311

And yes, we battled highs until midnight.....when he finally tanked and I had to feed glucose tabs and juice.

Thanks Doctor.

An Honest Confession

You know you've had too many highs when your child finally goes low.....

and you feel relieved.

That's saying something.

Endo Appointment Next Week.....

So....of course BG's are not the best this week.  Don't you just hate that.

Random highs for no reason.

And then highs that come because...well....had a meal out and didn't quite count those carbs right.

Either way....it's highs and more highs. 

Every week for the past month---I mean every single week---I have had to up Matthew's basals.  I think we've only had 1 day in the past month where he was in range the entire day. 

But I've been quick to correct.  I'm learning to be aggressive.

And yet, cautious.  Especially at night.

(The story of the teenager who lost her life this week breaks my heart.  Before Matthew had diabetes, I had no idea that kids actually died of this disease.)

It's all such a balancing act.

I guess the A1C on Monday will tell the real story......

Edited to add:  Just checked the BG and he's high again.  Oh goody!

I Listened

God has been talking to me a lot lately.  And yes, I listened this time.  Boy did it pay off!

It all started several weeks ago, after the earthquake in Japan.  I started thinking....what if Matthew didn't have access to insulin?  Am I prepared for an emergency?  What would we do?

So.....I wrote out an emergency list (oh my, it is huge!).  I'll try to remember to add the list to the end of this post.

Anyway, I packed a backpack.   I did not include everything from the emergency list (no insulin, ice packs and such) but I did print out a copy of the list and put it in the pack, so we could run through it real quick and get the necessary supplies.  No thinking needed. (I love that part.)

But....in the back of my head, I kept thinking....I should put an extra lancing device in my purse. Matthew has one in his kit now, but what if he loses it.....

So.....I tossed one in my purse.  Actually, I went ahead and tossed another glucose meter in as well.  Just in case....

Several times, I picked up that little kit in my purse and got ready to take it out.  Do you have any idea how full my purse is??? 

But every single time, I felt like God was telling me I needed to keep it there.  Okay....

Fast forward to yesterday's soccer game.  We go to check Matthew's sugar pre-game and----you guessed it!----the poker wasn't there! 

But this prepared little momma opened her purse, whipped another another poker and saved the day!  I mean, really, how else would we have checked his sugar?  I sure didn't want to use that pocketknife in my purse!

I know without a doubt that God had been preparing me for that moment and yay!  I listened.  I should do that more often....

Here's our emergency list.  I'm just keeping the backpack in our pantry.  Ready to grab at a moments notice. 

If we're away from home when the emergency arises, we're outta luck.  I'm not sure what to do about that.  Matthew always has his kit with him.  I pray that will give us what we need until we could get access to everything else.

Emergency Diabetes List
Get Matthew's daily kit
Get insulin from fridge
Write down pump settings/ratios
Glucagon
Ice packs
Pods
Test strips
Batteries for pump
Ketone strips
Back-up meter/strips
Calculator
Starbursts
PB crackers
Alcohol wipes
Flashlight
Cups
Copy of prescription info
Glucose tabs
Insulated pack
Syringes
Lancets
Bandaids
Granola bars
Juice boxes
Frio pack

All you rockin' D-Moms.....let me know if I forgot anything!

The Invisible Disease

Diabetes is such an invisible disease.   One look at Matthew and you see a healthy, average kid.  He's thriving.  He runs around like a healthy child should.  He's playing soccer.  Life appears to be normal.

Which is a blessing. 

Sometimes.

It's great for Matthew because he doesn't seem "different" and people don't look at him sideways.

But the invisibility means that people don't see the seriousness of diabetes.  They don't realize how often we have to make him bleed to check his sugar.  The counting carbs.  The weighing and measuring every single meal.  Battling highs.  Middle of the night checks.  The frustration Matthew feels when he's low at school and has to stop to check his sugar. 

(Which, by the way, he didn't yesterday.  Even though he felt low.  His teacher sometimes asks what his number is in front of the whole class and he hates that.  Of course, her heart is in the right place, but he hates it.  So he didn't check.  Great.  No worries though, we have a plan.)
 
Okay, back on topic.

The truth is.....Matthew isn't your average kid.  Every day he (and all those other kids with D) deals with one of the worst diseases you could possibly have.  It never ends.  There is no break whatsoever.

So.....This is what concerns me about that.  How can money be raised for a cure....or better tools to help with this disease......when people don't know what diabetes is really like for our kids?

They think this is easy.  They think this is no big deal. 

I didn't think it was a big deal until it happened to us.  I thought if you had diabetes, you had to have shots and you couldn't eat sugar. 

Until you live it, you have no idea.

A Huge Discovery

Since March of last year, I've been caught in the headlights of diabetes.  It hasn't been pretty.

Diabetes has challenged every single area of my life.  EVERYTHING has been impacted by diabetes.  Life has changed forever. 

And quite frankly, I haven't handled it very well.  I mean, I'm doing my best and life is getting better.  God is carrying me through....of that, I am confident.

The biggest challenge for me is high blood sugar.  I hate it.  I feel like such a failure when the highs linger. 

My brain travels on fast-forward to the future complications that Matthew might face.....all because I cannot get his sugar in range today.

I don't want him to pay for my mistakes.

But I've made a huge discovery!  (Thanks in part to my more faithful quiet time with God....and also a recent post by Meri.)

I have learned that the bad times don't last. 

Matthew may be high for days or even weeks.  I will rack my brain trying to figure out if it's because of a growth spurt?  Coming out of honeymoon?  Basal?  Bolus?  Mistakes on carb counting?  The list of possibilitites is endless.

BUT...I will figure it out.  Eventually I WILL get his sugar back in range.  I WILL!

Bad days do not last forever.

Just until the next growth spurt....or carb counting mistakes.....or high fat meal....or activity mis-calculations......or......