Tuesday, December 14, 2010

We Start Pumping Tomorrow

So the big day is nearly here. Yes, we start pumping tomorrow! Everyone is excited.

But I have a confession to make: I'm getting nervous. My tummy is in knots. I keep thinking "Are we crazy to hook him up to this device 24/7?!" I thought these feelings might hit me tomorrow, but I'm really surprised that I feel nervous already. (I've even cried a little bit and that hasn't happened in a while.)

I guess it's just the idea of starting fresh all over again. As most of you know, I was in "adrenaline mode" the first 5 months after Matthew's diagnosis. I was unstoppable!

Then I hit my 3-month depression phase. I'm not sure how much I talked about it on here, but let me say that I have never faced anything like that before. God pulled me through without medication, but it was discussed at the doctor's office and I was a heartbeat away from grabbing those meds.

And yet I didn't. I'm not against medication, but I really felt like God was going to get me through without it. And He did! But people...it was bad time in my life.

Okay....then the past month or so....I can actually say I've gotten "comfortable" with diabetes. Of course, that's not the right word, but I've settled into a routine and I'm adjusting better. We're in a groove. I'm learning. And it's working.

Those highs that always drove me crazy---I now look at them as "information" instead of something bad. It's made a world of difference. For me. And the boys.

But now.....we're starting all over again. Another big learning curve. I will say, I'm grateful that God has helped me get to the point where I am. If I was still dealing with depression, this would be so much harder.

So....I'm choosing to be grateful.

I'm excited.

I'm nervous and yes, there are a few tears.

But God got me through before and I pray He will get us through again.


Lorraine of "This is Caleb..." said...

I think you are right, there will be a learning curve, but hopefully knowing and expecting it will make it a little easier to handle. We are all here to help you too. Anyone who has gone from injections to pumping will be able to relate and share how they handled things. Just take it one day at a time, involve your medical team and of course, us!!!

Good luck!!

Amy said...

Yes He will!!!!!

And I will be in the corner looking on with curious eyes watching every detail. Don't worry .... I'll be quiet. Through me some Ben & Jerry's every once in a while and I won't complain. I just want to watch the process so when we have to do it I won't feel all crazy

Joanne said...

So excited for you about the pumping... can't wait to hear how it goes. I'm sorry you were hit so hard, but glad you have emerged.

Hope we can get together one of these days SOON!

Stephanie said...

I am right there with you. Adam's Ping arrived today in this huge box full of supplies and now I'm freaked out to try something new. it is very scary. Good luck tomorrow...I can't wait to read about how it goes for you!

Unknown said...

There will be a learning curve friend, but you can do this. I understand your nervousness...it will subside once your comfort level increases. We have your back and please ask away if you have any questions...this is one of the biggest gifts the DOC has to offer. I have found that my posts aren't that informative, but man the comments are soooo informational!

Misty said...

Congratulations and Good Luck! I hope that you will love pumping as much as we do. I completely understand the feelings you are having. I actually did get sick the night before Ally started pumping. But I don't focus on that anymore...the pump has made Ally's life (and mine too) a little bit easier. Ask away if you have questions. So many people out here to help.

Lora said...


I have to admit... that the first few weeks I was asking myself "what in the world were you thinking"!! But after that... I wondered what in the world made me wait so long. Yes, it is an adjustment... but nothing you cant ROCK!!

Keep us posted.

connie said...

I'm so excited for you, I can't wait to hear all about this new journey you are on! Pumping is still not on our list of things we are ready for...one of these days :) Everything I hear is so positive when it comes to the pump and I'm sure there will be a learning curve so I will be keeping you close in my thoughts.

I'm happy to hear that you are feeling better, I thought of you often during your break from blogging. Good luck and I will be thinking of you during this transition :)

Meri said...

I'm so excited for you! Yes, it will be a huge learning curve, but one that will be worth it!

I've been in the depression phase many times, and the good Lord has gotten me through. I have found that if you don't ask for his help, he can't help you. You need to ask...and be specific if you have to. We as mothers get so caught up in praying for our families, that sometimes we forget to pray for ourselves.

Good luck on your journey! We are here if you ever need us!

Amanda said...

Today is your big day! I hope it is going well for you! I felt the EXACT same way the day before we started. And the learning curve is a kick in the booty. But then I felt just like Lora said - why on earth didn't we do this sooner? I can't wait to hear how it all goes and thank you for your example of choosing to be grateful!