Good News....Bad News

The good news is that I slept like a baby last night.

The bad news is that I slept well because a wasp stung me and I had to take 2 benedryl.

You know.....it was kind of worth it.

Weekly Update

It was a GREAT week. But....I was so busy having fun that I am WAY behind on reading everyone's blogs. Forgive me! I hope to catch up this weekend!

Here's a fast and furious update.

Tracy

• Good quiet time
• Playdates with friends
• Got Matthew to his yearly doctor's appointment (went great!)
• Several moms have signed up for the prayer partner list. (We even have a college student who wants to be involved. How cool is that?!) There is still time to sign up if you would like. Click here for more information. I think I'll let people sign up for the next couple weeks since people are away taking last minute vacations. I'll still start pairing up people in the next couple days and get that info out.
• Oh! And I turned a pretty fushia color after an afternoon at the pool. (Too bad fushia isn't in fashion.)

Matthew

1. Had fun with friends (despite being grounded from all electronics. Boy he hates that! I've got to remember how well this punishment works!)
2. Caught a couple lows and knew how to treat them! Woo Hoo!

Blood Sugar

• It looks like we're figuring out the late-night highs. They are much better. He still went pretty high the other night, but I'm making adjustments again. The next couple of nights will be interesting to watch. I will keep you posted.

That's it! Now get off the computer and go have some fun! : )

Ranger Rick

Do your kids read Ranger Rick magazine? Matthew has been an advisor for them for several years now. He gets to do all sorts of cool things. Preview games, help select covers, come up with story ideas....

Recently, they asked him to do a short book review for their website.. He chose Charlotte's Web. Click here if you want to see it.

FYI....you can still sign up for the Prayer Partner list. Nearly a dozen moms have signed up so far!!! Click here for more information. I will get information out to participants next week.

An Idea for D-Moms!

UPDATE: Several moms have signed up! Yea! I'll let others sign up this week and then I'll send out the info to everyone participating! So....if you haven't signed up, there is still time! : )

This morning during my quiet time, God gave me a great idea: Prayer Partners for D-Moms.

If you want to participate, you will be given the name of another D-Mom. The only requirement is that you agree to pray for your fellow D-Mom and her children daily throughout the upcoming school year.

Wouldn't it be encouraging to know that someone who "gets it" is committed to praying for you and your family? So many of us are already concerned about the upcoming school year, I think this would be a great way to start school on a positive note!

If you would like to participate, send me a comment with the following information. I will NOT publish these comments.

• Your name
• Your children's names (if you would like to share them)
• Make sure you let me know which child is diabetic
• Any specific prayer requests that you may have
• Your e-mail address----IF you would like this to be shared with your partner. (That way you could share specific prayer requests if you would like.) This is not a requirement to join the group! : )

Each week, I will post a "topic idea" with scripture references for your prayer time. Things like.....adjusting to school, wisdom for BS, keeping a joyful attitude, spouses, finances.....whatever. You wouldn't have to use those ideas.....it's just a thought.

Finally, as most of you know, I'm really new to blogging, so I don't know many D-Moms. If you know anyone who might want to participate....please pass this on!!

Psalms 145:18 The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Weekly Update

We had a GREAT week! This should be easy to sum up.....good thing because it's Saturday and I want to play!

Matthew:

• Had several playdates this week
• Went swimming
• We went to see the IMAX movie Adrenaline Rush. Wow!

Tracy

• Great quiet time this week
• Got a walk in (foot still sore, but much better)
• Enjoyed Matthew's playdates because I got to catch up with my friends

Matthew's Blood Sugar

• The Lantus split seems to be working. It's hard to tell because of all his activity this week, but either way, he didn't have those big highs at night. Thank you, Lord!
• He had only ONE low this week (62) and caught it. Poor guy, it was a bad one and he felt terrible. It took a while to get him up, but he handled it well.
• And.......we tackled belgian waffles this week. Matthew did GREAT!

This week's big adventure----I hope to conquer lasagna! Wish me luck.

Can a shot REVERSE type 1?

That's what researchers are working on.

Can you even imagine? I would LOVE for Matthew to be able to say: "I used to have type 1 diabetes."

Let's all pray that God works mightly through these researchers.....and others who are so diligently searching for a cure.

Click here to read the story. Watch the video. It's great and it gives me hope. I know God is working and I pray that this just may be the answer.

If it's not the answer....if we have to live with diabetes forever, we'll be okay. Life will go on and Matthew will be fine. But there is hope and that's the way I want to live.

Matthew hasn't seen the video yet. There's a tiny part of me that doesn't want him to get his hopes up too much----yes, that cancels out everything I just wrote----but the bigger part of me wants him to watch the video. I want him to know there are people out there who care. People who are working so hard to find a cure.

He needs that hope. And he deserves to have hope.

In the meantime, we're going to take it day by day......and be grateful for insulin.

By the way....I found the link thanks to one of my on-line buddies, Pam. Click here to meet Pam and her daughter, Grace. They are both pretty awesome! : )

I Got Back Up

Sorry about yesterday. I don't like to be depressing on my blog. I want people to come for a visit and walk away with a smile. Ummmm....that wasn't really happening yesterday.

It's just that some of the reality of the D-life is hitting me and it isn't pretty. But I'm okay with that.

Do you like Toby Mac? He's not my favorite, but I do enjoy this song a lot. It's great to listen to when I run. Here's the chorus. I found myself singing it a lot yesterday.

Get Back Up by Toby Mac

Chorus:
We lose our way, we get back up again
It’s never too late to get back up again
And one day you gonna’ shine again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever.

We lose our way, we get back up again
So get up, get up, you gonna’ shine again
It’s never too late to get back up again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever.

I got back up. With God's help, I got back up and I will get through this.

With a joyful attitude.

If it kills me. : )

A special thank you to everyone who left a comment. God is using each and every one of you to bless and encourage me.

One day I'm going to win the lottery (if I ever decide to play) and we're all going on an exciting trip. Yep, the dads will be in charge and we will do nothing but sleep for 2 days straight and then we'll visit. How's that?

Having a Rough Spell

One of my new-online friends, Hallie, wrote an interesting blog today. Click here to read it.

It's hard to read, but exactly the way I'm feeling right now. I hope you'll go read it. She's a sweetheart.

Certainly there are other diseases worse than diabetes, but nothing else requires the daily management like diabetes. Nothing else needs hour by hour care every single day. Or night. Weekends. At parties. At the pool. At school. It never stops and so many people just don't get it. I mean....sometimes they don't even TRY to get it.

And so, they.... "hint" that the caretaker is doing something wrong. Recently I was talking with someone about Matthew's late-night highs and their first question was "Is it his diet?"

Meaning.....I'M feeding him the wrong food. I'M doing a bad job. Why can't I fix it?

Like I'm not trying to fix it?!?!?! I haven't slept through the night since Matthew's diagnosis. I am always on call. ALWAYS.

We check Matthew's blood at least 8 times a day every single day. That's a minimum of 56 times a week. I stick him with needles every single day---we're up to 35 shots a week now. I see when he feels horrible and give him sugar so he gets better....I give him extra insulin when he's high.....I count carbs for every single bite of food he eats. But it's not good enough......

And then there's the worry that he will actually eat everything you give him....like at school. The last field trip of the year, he dropped part of his lunch on the ground. Well, of course, he already had the insulin in him.....

There's always something to think about.....I'm always setting my watch alarm so I don't miss the next sugar check......always watching and thinking.....

And it will never been good enough....because this disease is not going anywhere. And I hate it.

And there are so many other families living the same way. I never knew. I never realized what diabetes was really all about. I had no idea....

Now, don't get me wrong.....I'm grateful that God gave me this little boy to care for.....and I would not change that for the world. Matthew is such a blessing in my life.......but I hate that he has to live with diabetes. For the rest of Matthew's life, he will never be able to eat one bite of food without thinking about carbs....and insulin.....and activity.....and excitement....

It's just so much.

Sidenote for my parents: It's hard to write about things like this because my parents read this and worry. So, Mom and Dad....I'm okay....really. None of this is new to you..... This blog is like my therapy......I just need to vent. Okay? Matthew just checked his sugar and it was a perfect number. We're okay.....Don't worry.....

Sidenote to D-Moms: You know what I'm talking about!

D-Moms: I need your help....

Please help me with this cooking question.......it involves measuring veggies.

Today, for example, we had corn. The can says 1/2 cup has a weight of 125g. This serving has 11 carbs.

Well....when I measure out 1/2 cup and then weigh it.....because I'm obsessed about getting the exact number of carbs....the weight is totally different. The weight is about 84 grams.

Now I understand that measuring in cups isn't as accurate....with all the empty space...but with corn, or peas, there really isn't space.

I'm guessing the numbers on the can include water?

How do you measure for this???

I know right now Matthew's ratios are so high that it doesn't really matter, but in a few years when he's 1-5, it will make a big difference. I want to do it correctly from the start.

And truthfully, if I'm not giving him enough carbs, then I'm shooting him low. (That happened today.....)

So please help me......because I'm obsessed.....

Sidenote: No change in evening numbers.....

Weekly Update

This is going to be super-quick because Matthew has a friend over to play and I want to relax with a good book!


Matthew

• Had fun at 2 birthday parties this week. His good buddy, Adam, celebrated his 10th birthday. And Matthew's favorite classmate, Caleb, turned 10 as well. Matthew had a blast.
• He is counting down the hours until his buddy, Ewin, returns home from Taiwan tomorrow. His family has been gone 2 months!
• Matthew did an AWESOME job helping me to finish organizing the gameroom.

Tracy

• I loved seeing my friends at those parties this week.
• Stayed on track with my quiet time.
• I wrote something else here, but accidently deleted it and I'm too tired to remember what it was..... : )

Matthew's Blood Sugar

• We're still working on the late-night highs, but it seems to be a tiny bit better after splitting the Lantus. Time will tell.....
• Matthew had several lows this week, but he caught every one! His symptoms are nearly always a headache and he gets tired.
• We ROCKED on the pizza, cake and ice cream at the parties!
• But boy, does swimming makes Matthew drop! He started swimming at 193 and 30 minutes later was 77. Wow. Glad I only gave him half the insulin for that pizza!

Just a quick update......

I've got to run finish up breakfast and get ready for church, but......last night was better! Much better!

Matthew still rose, but stayed in range. We'll let this dose ride for a couple days and then maybe raise it a bit. I would love to find a dose that holds him steady through that period.

At least we're going in the right direction. God is good!

I hope you have a wonderful Sunday!

Grrrrr!

Here are the numbers from last night:

6:15-----116
8:30-----119
9:30-----189
10:00---237

Hmmmm.....we're going in the wrong direction here! But again....Matthew is consistent. Between 9 and 10.....boom!

He got a small correction and came in okay this morning. I upped his morning Lantus, so we'll see if it makes a difference tonight. I also increased his lunch ratio to guard against a low.

I praying and believing and trusting that God is going to help me figure this out. And I can't wait for that day! : )

Here's a picture from the party yesterday. We had such fun!

No Luck Yet....

Matthew's BS rose again last night. Same time....same thing....same frustration. I feel very defeated right now.

But I will try to be patient, tweek the amount of Lantus I give in the morning verses evening. (Although I will not do that tonight. Matthew is going to a pool party today and I'm not about to change anything with all that activity.)

I did make a decision this morning. I'll give this a couple weeks and if it doesn't work, I'm going to go back to one Lantus shot at night and simply correct him. We just can't have him staying high every single night. All the longterm complications are so frightening.

At that point, we'll just have to do whatever it takes to get him on a pump.

I will end on a happy note: My eye infection is all cleared up and I put new contacts in today! Woo Hoo! I HATE wearing my glasses when it is this hot and humid. They make me feel WAY too sweaty!

Quick Update

Matthew did great last night.

It's really kind of strange. I gave him half the Lantus---totally expecting him to go high with half the insulin in him---and he had great numbers all night.

What's the deal?

He never went low in the middle of the night before, so I really think the dose was correct.

Oh well, I'm just believing God gave us an easy night. What a nice surprise!

This morning, I gave the other half of Lantus, so we'll see what happens tonight.

May take a few days and I will try to be patient!

I'm Going For It

Tonight, I'm splitting the Lantus.

The evening snack works sometime, but other times it just isn't filling that gap. I'm sick of constantly changing up his evening ratios to cover the expected high, all while protecting him from that earlier low. It's madness.

This morning I was having my quiet time and I thought about what's going on with Matthew. It occurred to me that we're trying to fix the symptom, not the problem.

The nurse practitioner and the CDE both agree that they think the Lantus is wearing off. The reason they don't encourage splitting the Lantus is because:

• You then have 2 shots to remember (I don't mind this. I'm already having to remember to give the extra shot a 8 with the snack.)
• You can't sleep in. (Matthew rarely sleeps in and if he does, I'll just give him the shot while he's sleeping. I've certainly done that before.)

I've also read several books that say the Lantus "gap" is an issue for some people and splitting the Lantus usually works.

So, we're trying it tonight. I know this means he'll run high tonight and we'll probably have a long night of correcting and checking, but hopefully in a day or 2, we'll get that consistent coverage that he needs and his numbers will be beautiful.

Until something else changes and messes it all up......LOL!

Feeling Tired.....

Life is good, but I'm tired and a little defeated. I'm not even sure why. This D-life is tough. Just when you think you have one thing figured out, something else rears its ugly head.

Matthew's late night highs are better. I spoke with his CDE yesterday and I'm going to keep playing around with the nighttime snack ratios. If I can't seem to find a ratio that works consistently, then we're going to try splitting the Lantus.

The problem with working on the ratios is that you have to check Matthew constantly from 8-11:15ish. (He often drops before he goes high.) It's truly exhausting and I'm going through test strips like crazy!!

Going to bed that late, getting up at 3 to check him and then rising at 7 is taking a toll on me. I just need my sleep. I guess I need to get back into trying to catch a nap, but it's summer and we want to have fun.

I want a CGM (Continous Glucose Monitor) so bad!!! I talked with the CDE about it and she said it would certainly give us good info right now....we could take a quick peek and think "okay, he's steady...." or "he's dropping fast..."

It's definitely on the list of things to discuss at his next appointment. My understanding is that the doctor will let us get it....and then it would just be working with our insurance company to figure out the cost. It it's not one battle, its another....

In the meantime, I'll just keep working on ratios and be thankful that this issue is getting better.

Good Morning!

Hello Sweet Friends!

I hope you have a FANTASTIC day!

Weekly Update

This is going to be quick tonight because it's family game night and I don't want to be late!!


Matthew

• Enjoyed a playdate with his good buddy Caleb.
• Helped me organize the gameroom. It's only a semi-disaster now! Just kidding! It's looking good. : )
• We took a morning walk to find the peacocks. Yes! We have peacocks in the neighborhood....I'll have to post pictures one day. Snakes....peacocks.....it REALLY is a normal neighborhood, I promise!
• Wanted to go to the pool, but the weather has not cooperated. Maybe next week....
  

Tracy

• Cleaned out the pantry and we worked on the gameroom. (Gotta take advantage of these rainy days....)
• Stayed on track with bible reading program.
• I got a little exercise in....not as much as I would like. My foot has been bothering me, though it's much better today. Yea!
• Oh! And I got Pink Eye. (Like we need more medical bills.....sigh.....) But hey, I caught it early and will be good to go soon!

Matthew's Blood Sugar

• Anyone following this blog knows about those darn late-night highs, but God has been good and it's getting a little bit better. We had great success on Thursday (thanks again to The Crazy Pancreas) but Friday's numbers weren't quite as good. Not in the 200's, but close. We'll see what happens tonight....
• Matthew caught a couple lows. He's getting better about this and I'm proud of him.
• As of this writing, Matthew's on shot number 15!

Overall, it really was a great week!

Hero of the Day Award

First.....a big thank you to all the wonderful d-moms who commented yesterday! Your support means the world to me! It's so great to have encouragement from other moms fighting the same battles.

Now.......on to the good stuff. The Hero of the Day Award goes to........drumroll please.......

THE CRAZY PANCREAS!

Yesterday, she suggested giving Matthew a snack with insulin at bedtime....around 8 o'clock. The idea being that the active insulin might "tie him over" until the Lantus kicks in.

This is similiar to what one nurse suggested. (I've talked with 4 of them about this!) The nurse said we could try having dinner a little later. Again....to have that active insulin working around the time he's rising. But Matthew really needs to eat by 6 or so.

Anyway.....we tried a snack at 8pm and IT WORKED BEAUTIFULLY!

Yea! Woo Hoo! Go Crazy Pancreas!

Matthew's BS still rose a tiny bit but he leveled out and came in at 98 this morning. FANTASTIC!

Of course, you know how diabetes is....I'll have to test this for a few days to make sure.....but I think it's going to work.

And Matthew doesn't mind the extra shot since he gets a snack. Good thing, too, since he still needs to put on some weight.

What a great way to end the week! :)

Frustrated and I'd love suggestions.....

I'm sick of these late-night highs. They are driving me insane!!

Matthew will have good numbers all day and then-bam! During the 9 o'clock hour-----without fail---that child will spike with no carbs. I hate giving him shots while he's sleeping!!

Of course, this didn't happen the week of camp because we were chasing lows, but now he's back into the same pattern again. At least he's consistent. Sigh.

I'm going to lower his dinner ratio....one. more. time. Make sure he doesn't go low 2 hours after, and then call the nurse tomorrow. Again.

I'm really stumped.

We give lantus at 8pm. The Lantus does last until dinner, but doesn't seem to be kicking in quick enough to hit that 9 o'clock hour.

When we moved lantus up to 6pm......he started to go high before dinner and he STILL had that spike in the 9 o'clock hour. So.....we went back to 8pm.

Could it be growth hormones at that hour? It's so darn consistent that I think it's got to be his body doing something.

Maybe I should talk to the nurse about splitting the Lantus into 2 shots? I've heard that splitting the dose gives some people better coverage......

Reward to the one who figures this out!

Thank you for letting me vent. : )

Ramblings about Becoming Independent

Many of you know that I homeschooled Matthew for several years. It started because of Kevin's work schedule and then....it just worked for us. Matthew and I both loved it.

But I felt like it was time to move on. There were other things that I wanted Matthew to learn....taking instruction from others.....being responsible to do the work....those sorts of things.

Well, we were really blessed to enroll him in a school that is sort of "between" regular school and homeschool. It's a university model school and it basically just like college. You can choose what courses you take. Matthew only took 2 last year. He will be enrolled in 4 classes this year. Elementary goes on T/Th and the upper grades are M/W/F. A full day of homework is given for those days out of school. We absolutely love it.

One reason I loved homeschooling was because I had more time with Matthew. We could do all sorts of fun things together. And yes, I could shelter him a bit and protect that innocence that is lost so early these days.

But school has been fabulous for both of us. There has been a huge burden lifted from my shoulders since I don't have to do all the planning. One of the biggest benefits I could see for Matthew was that he was becoming more independent.

Then diabetes came into our lives. Suddenly I was back with him at school every day for shots. (There is no nurse at our campus, though there is a fabulous d-mom there willing to do anything for Matthew! He doesn't want her doing shots yet. Of course....now he can do his own, so perhaps she can just supervise.)

But I find myself thinking so much about developing his independence. Part of me still sees that young, adventurous boy that I want to keep with me. The other part of me sees a little man who has diabetes and needs to learn how to take care of himself. I think that training has to start now.

I keep telling Matthew that I'm not going to force him to count every carb right now----I want him to enjoy being a kid! But there are little ways that I can encourage him to become more independent. (In a past post, I already talked about my summer goals for him.)

I think diabetes camp helped Matthew gain a bit of independence. And folks, it was hard for me, but good for him. Easy choice.

((Sidenote: Thank you Mom and Dad, for always pushing and encouraging me when it was probably difficult for you. It made me a stronger person and yet, I've learned to rely on God. I know with His help, I am fully capable caring for a child with diabetes. Thank you for always being there for me!))

God is really helping me see the big picture and see it so clearly: It's about taking care of Matthew right now, but training him to take care of himself in the future.

I pray God will guide me every step of the way.

Fireworks, Tents, and Snakes. Oh My!

Life with Matthew and Kevin is always an adventure.

Last night after fireworks, they decided to sleep outside in the tent. It was a first for them and they had a blast.

It was great for me because I got such a good night sleep with Kevin in charge of the BS checks! Woo Hoo!

But this morning, it was a different story.

After the boys brought in all the stuff, I found a SNAKE in the bathroom! S.N.A.K.E.

Of course, Matthew thinks this is fantastic. It's like a dream come true.

Oh good grief! And I thought "tent nights" would be so relaxing for me!

Final Camp Wrap-Up

As of this writing, Matthew has given himself SIX shots. His hand doesn't even shake. I swear my hands shook for a solid month after his diagnosis and still do if someone is watching me.

Matthew also got an award at camp: Most Responsible. I told him when he applies to be a CIT one day, he can tell them he got this award and that will certainly work in his favor!

We won't tell them the "Most Responsible Certificate" was dropped on the ground, stepped on by a muddy shoe, crumbled up and crammed into his bag.....no one has to know that.....right? : )

Camp Day 4

When Matthew started camp, I listed some prayer requests. Here is the update:

• I wanted Matthew to have a great time at camp! He has LOVED it!
• I wanted his blood sugar to stay in range. As of today, his BS has been great. He only had 1 low at camp and no highs. (Overnights have been tricky. All the added exercise has made him drop significantly at night. But I adjusted his insulin, checked about every 2 hours and did juice. It all worked out.)
• I was hoping Matthew would meet a good buddy with he same values. He's actually met several kids and that he'll love seeing again next year.
• You know I wanted Matthew to get brave enough to give himself a shot. At the time of writing this, he's done THREE shots! I told him we should set a summer goal. Maybe he could give himself 1 shot a day, or 1 every other day. He chose doing 1 shot every day. W.O.W.
• Finally....I was hoping he would be inspired by his CIT (counselor-in-training). Matthew says when he's a teenager he wants to be a CIT and then be a counselor one day! Awesome!

God answered every prayer better than I could have dreamed! He also gave me such peace. I never worried about his safety at all. That has been such a blessing.

Camp rocks!