An Idea for the New Year

Truth:  I'm a better person when I get up early and have a little quiet time before I start my day.  That time with the Lord--however brief--makes a difference in my actions.  My outlook.

It changes my life.

But there's another truth that I can't deny:  Getting up early is unbelievably difficult as a D-Mom.

When you are riding the BG rollercoaster, like we've been riding recently, I'm so very tired.  Kevin is tired.  Yes, we're both a little grumpy.

But here's yet one more truth:  A little time with the Lord changes my attitude.  It gives me strength for another day.

It makes me thankful for another day.

I've discovered Inspired to Action.  It's run by the ever-inspiring Kat, who encourages accountability in this area. Please take 2 minutes, pop over and check it out!

I probably take a different spin on this group than most participants.  I use it as accountability to have some quiet time at some point in the morning.  It may not be first thing for me.

It occurred me recently that God knows when I am beyond exhausted.

He knows if I was up every hour taking care of Matthew.

He knows and most importantly, He understands!  There is no need for me to feel guilty for needing extra sleep.

Most people in this world do not understand the exhaustion of diabetes.  But God does!

Now go check out Inspired to Action and join the Hello Mornings Challenge!

I hope you'll sign up!

Interesting Thought....

Don't cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened.

I like that!

How Matthew Handles Diabetes Questions

Sometimes Matthew doesn't like it when people ask about his pod, so he decided to make a video and explain how he handles it.

Sidenote:  He was inspired by Mike Lawson and his fantastic videos.  Keep it up, Mike!  Your GrEaT attitude about diabetes is inspiring to everyone.  Even my 11-year-old son.  Thank you!

Enjoy!  (And please disregard the mess in the kitchen.  I was in the middle of wrapping Christmas presents when Matthew's inspiration hit!  : )

The BG Rollercoaster

Hello Fabulous Blogger Friends!  I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

We had a fantastic holiday.  Very different from years past because no grandparents came to visit, but was a good Christmas nonetheless.

On the BG front, however, quite a different story.

It all started Christmas Eve night.  Matthew's BG dropped all night long.  I mean every single hour I was up checking that child.  Two juice boxes later, and after lots of temporary basals, he woke up around 120.  It was a long, rough night.

But when your child wakes up after a night like that, you are so very grateful to the Lord.  I couldn't do this without Him!  It's frightening to think what would have happened without our checking.

And what did happen?  Who knows?  Good 'ole diabetes.  We hadn't changed a thing.  Did the growth spurt end?  One would think.  But.....

On Christmas night,  I hadn't lowered basals yet (waiting for the 2 day pattern) and he ROSE over 100 points.  Really? Really.  It was Kevin's night and he watched him like a hawk.  We were stunned.

Sidenote:  Despite the holiday, he didn't have any weird food that we haven't dealt with before. This is merely the "fun" of diabetes.  Because.....

Last night he dropped again.  I was up every single hour.  More juice.  More aggressive temp basals.  I finally got him up by 4am.

What a crazy few days, but I'm so thankful for the privilege of taking care of Matthew.  It's always a blessing, despite the occasional exhaustion.

And yes!  I'm lowering the basals today.  This pancreas needs a rest!

My Christmas Problem

My Christmas problem is that my husband is the most amazing gift-giver. 

And this is a problem?  Yes!  Stay with me here....

I can casually mention something to him in July and that man will have it under the tree for Christmas!  He's very sneaky that way. 

Always watching.....always listening.....always remembering....

Hmmmm.....Maybe's he's Santa?

Wait!  That sounds good and this really is a problem!

And why, you ask?  Because naturally, I want to do the same for him.  I want to shower my fabulous husband with gifts that he'll adore!

I want him to ooohhh and ahhhh on Christmas morning.  Just like I do!

Unfortunately, I don't have that "Santa" gift for finding the perfect present.

Oh I try!  I really do!  Each and every year. 

And then, without fail, I start the "Christmas Panic."  I just frantically start buying stuff for him. 

Maybe I should get this?  Perhaps I should add that.  I know he spent too much on me, so I better scoop up one more thing!

It's a vicious, never-ending, cycle!

Because I love my husband. 

I love his thoughtfulness.  I love his generosity.  I love his kindness.

But people.  This is really is a problem!

Tis the Season to Tweak Basals....

Yes folks, I'm attempting to work on basals the CrAzY week of Christmas.

(Clearly I've lost my mind!)

Actually, I only made one more change yesterday, and based on his numbers last night, I think it worked.  Of course, it is diabetes and you just never know!  Here's hoping....

Either way, the fact is that Matthew is doing some serious growing.  I just changed his morning ratio to 1-8.  Oh my word!  One unit of insulin for every 8 carbs!  He's never had a ratio that low, but he needs what he needs. 

Can't imagine what it will be like when full puperty hits.  Wow!

Off to teach my last 3 piano students and then Christmas break begins for me.  Woo Hoo!

Here's wishing you good BG through the holiday!  : )

Let the Christmas Vacation Begin!

School is out and Matthew is over-the-moon with excitement!  Yesterday he was dancing around the house.  No joke!  Oh the joy of being a kid.

On the diabetes front, all is going so-so.  Matthew's been having some BIG TIME highs overnight. 

I recently "rearranged" his basal.  It's a move in the right direction, but  I still need to tweak things. 

Like most other D-Parents, Kevin and I tend to be very cautious overnight.  It's going to take a couple weeks, but we'll get there.

In other news, this week marks one year since Matthew has been pumping.  I can't believe how the time has flown by. 

We love Omnipod, but I still have some issues with the IOB feature.  We nearly had a big crash last week because of it.  My fault...and I caught it, but still.....I wish it would calculate all insulin onboard. 

Nonetheless it's worth it because Matthew loves the freedom of the tubeless feature.

Pumping is just fantastic.  It's made life so much more "normal" for Matthew.  I love that he can eat what he wants, when he wants. 

And let me tell you...that amount is going up and up!  He's growing like a weed.

Kevin is already warning me about the "hollow legs" that are coming. 

Guess I better stock up the pantry now!

Hello World...

I'm betting no one reads this blog anymore, but I thought I'd pop in with an update just in case.

Life is good.  Really good.  Well...Matthew still has diabetes and we're still tired.  But life is good. 

First......His last A1C?  6.3 

Unbelievable right?  I know.  Kevin and I are pretty sure our meter is reading high.  But whatever.  We'll take that number and move on.  With a grateful heart. 

(Along with a healthy dose of caution because seriously, random tests with other meters, show that our meter runs high every single time.  Guess that's why the A1C was so low.....)

Moving on...I'm finishing up a great Bible study with some online friends.  Here's the link if you want to join the new study in January.  (They haven't actually said they're doing one, but I'm betting they will and you will love it!)

Third...I've spent the last 3 weeks embarking on a CrAzY journey:  It's called "Hiding Romans 8 in my Heart."  Yep---the ENTIRE chapter!  Call me nuts, but I signed up.  Here's the link if you want to join me.  You would be a couple weeks behind, but you could still do it.  They have some great resources to help.  I've learned verses 1-6 so far....

Other quick news....Matthew won the spelling bee for the 5th grade.  That's the 3rd year in a row that he's won.  One of the benefits of reading constantly!

The house is decorated and I'm so ready to celebrate Christmas.  So grateful to the Lord for simply everything.

Hope you're all doing well.  One day soon, I hope to get back into blogging more faithfully.  And keeping up with your blogs.....Right now, I'm just enjoying life.

Finally!

I found myself singing the Camptown Races song this afternoon. But I have new lyrics:

Matthew's been in range all day
Doo-da, doo-da
Matthew's been in range all day
Oh doo-da day!

I needed a day like this! Woo Hoo! All those highs get depressing after a while.

Random Thoughts

Blogging?  What's that? 

Sorry I've been MIA....we spent fall break visiting Kevin's parents in Southern California.  Lots of fun, despite daytime lows (all the activity) and nighttime highs (crazy food at night.)

Because of the busy days and overnight checks, I was exhausted!  And......I finally slept through an alarm.  Knew it would happen sometime.  Fortunately, God was on-call and took care of everything!

Matthew had been 82 when we went to bed.  That's way too low after 2 super-active days.  I set a temporary basal and planned to check in  hour.  I ignored the alarm and woke up in a panic about 2.5 hours later! 

Thankfully, he was over 100.  But talk about stress....God is good though!

Matthew has a new line when kids ask about his pod.  He used to say "It's my battery pack."  The other day, my friend overheard him say "It's my soap dispenser." 

Pretty funny, huh?

Tonight is the second bookclub meeting.  Yes, I did have to read "Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder." 

And believe it or not, Matthew was true to his word---it really was a pretty good book.  It'll be fun to discuss tonight.

No News is Good News

I've got nothing to say.

Honestly, there is nothing exciting to blog about.

BUT... I can't leave that last post at the top of my blog any longer.  It was too scary and it's over.

So....now there's a new post at the top. 

No news is good news.  : )

Right can still go wrong....

One thing I hate about diabetes.....you can do everything right and it still goes wrong.

We just celebrated Matthew's birthday.  Full of pizza, cupcakes, running around, excitement....and yet, we rocked the BG!  It was a great day.

A little before bedtime, Matthew's BG was 124.  Not bad, but we still gave him 2 PB crackers for a little boost.  He gradually (and I mean gradually!) made his way to bed. 

Kevin and I settled down to watch a little TV, feeling confident that Matthew was okay.  We planned to check him in an hour before we went to bed.

But then Matthew called down that he felt low.  Really low.

He was 52. 

Yep.

And we were not going to check him for another hour.

It took our breath away.

Thankfully, he was still awake and felt it because lows never wake him.

Kevin and I were both pretty shaken up.  It was a scary way to end his birthday and yet, we're so grateful that it did end that way and he's okay.

Now we just need to work on getting a CGM.  Matthew is totally against it, but Kevin and I really can't take this anymore.  This is the 3rd time something like this has happened.

It's scary.

Beyond scary.

We don't want to lose him to diabetes.

First Bookclub Meeting

Matthew and I are starting our own bookclub.  We always read together, but we haven't read a book separately and then discussed it.

I got the idea from Inspired to Action.  A great Christian website that offers practical tips for moms.  Love it.

But back to the story.  Tonight is the bookclub kickoff.  We're going to have dinner at Chick-fil-A or Subway.

I chose the first book:  From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. 

It's a great book about a brother and sister who decide to run away from home and stay at a museum.  Lots of good adventure.

Matthew's going to chose the next book.  He's pretty sure it's going to be Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder.

Pray for me!

FROM Justice

Matthew made a video for Justice the other day.  Justice and his brother teamed up to make one for Matthew.

I think these kids are going to coin a new term.  Not penpals....but videopals! 

For some reason, I can't get the video to load, but here's the link! 

Enjoy!

Hi Justice!

Sometimes we all need a little encouragement.  We heard that was the case for one fantastic Type 1 Kid.  And so.....

Dear Justice,

Hope you enjoy the video of me and Spiny.  (You'll find out what that means!)

From,
Matthew

Always Be Ready....

Here's a pretty amazing blog post that I thought I'd pass along.

The man in the story sure is blessed. 

And Sherry is nothing short of amazing.

A New Day!

Thank you so much for your sweet, encouraging comments.  I LOVE the DOC!  (That's Diabetes Online Community for you non-D folks.)

I think part of my emotional ride was hearing of yet another teenage death due to diabetes.  It was heartbreaking to read her mother's post on Facebook.  I cannot believe Matthew has the same disease.
 
And that is why we check.  Every single night.  And we pray.  And we breathe a huge sigh of relief when they roll over.  Wiggle.  Rustle in the covers.  They are alive!

So many people are misinformed about Type 1.  They think it's all diet and exercise.  They think it's "easy" to manage.  Tracy wrote a great post about this on Tuesday.

I wish more people understood.  I think it would make this journey easier if there wasn't such a misconception about Type 1. 

People don't understand that the very thing that saves Matthew's life could take his life in an instant. 

And as parents, the weight is on our shoulders.  WE are responsible for making the daily decisions....calculations that change constantly.  We PRAY we are one step ahead.  We TRUST that God is guiding our hand.  And we keep putting one foot in front of the other.

BUT enough of that.

This wasn't written to be a downer.  I'm writing to say thank you.  And after shedding many tears and spending some time in prayer, I feel better.

It's a new day.

Diabetes is still here....but so am I.

And I will not give up.

A Big Realization

We went to Sea World this weekend.  And while it was a great trip, in one quick moment, I got a new perspective on my life.

Usually I strive to keep my posts short and sweet.  You people are so nice to read my posts, I don't want to take up all your time.  But today....there is so much I want to write.  I need to write.  I should warn you up front that this is going to be a downer, but I need to do this for myself.  So...just stop reading if necessary.

What was the moment?  We were eating lunch at Sea World.  Matthew had a hot dog and a handful of fries. I knew the hot dog was about 20 carbs...the fries around 30-35.  This would be easy for Matthew to figure out!

Here was our conversation:

Me:  Okay...how many carbs do you think?  (I was excited....I knew he could do this...easy!)
Matthew:  I don't know?  20?

In that moment, the fog of diabetes faded away and I saw my life so clearly. 

1. Matthew does't care.  He didn't even try.  He could have figured out those carbs in a flash, but he didn't want to waste one second of brain power on it.  I'm going to write a full post on this later in the week.
2. And what did I discover about myself?  I realized that I'm an awesome pancreas.  Not perfect--oh I still make a lot of mistakes.  But if I'm doing some major SWAGing, I'm smart enough to check 2 hours later and fix my mistakes.  I've read books on diabetes.  I've become a part of the DOC.  I've connected with lots of D-Moms locally.  I've worked my butt off to learn how to keep Matthew alive and I'm doing a pretty good job.  BUT...I've paid a high price.

So many people have told me that I don't give myself enough credit for managing Matthew's diabetes.  Kevin has said it....friends have said it....this was said at our last doctor's appointment and I found myself in tears.

I wasn't crying because I thought I was doing a bad job.

My tears are because I've learned to be a good pancreas at the expense of everything else in my life.

My body has suffered.  Physically and mentally.  My marriage has suffered.  Our finances.  Friendships.  My relationship with God, while stronger in some ways, is worse in others.  I'm not as involved in school....

Yes, I am a good pancreas, but everything else in my life has suffered.  And I have no idea how to put the pieces of my life back together.

And I don't have time to think about that because there is always work to be done.  Thinking about carbs and ratios and BG numbers and basal settings and supplies and IOB and pod changes and corrections and lows and highs and death (another teen died this weekend from type 1)....

Diabetes is never-ending...all-consuming....

Too Tired for Diabetes

I have always given 100% to Matthew's diabetes.  Always.

But not last night.

Backstory:  I'm recovering from a cold that has really taken its toll.  I feel so run-down.  Kevin has graciously done overnights for the past week, but last night I was on-call.  (Because I am feeling better and now Kevin is coming down with it.)

Anyway, at 2am, Matthew was 191.  We always correct a number that high.  So I'm staring at the meter thinking....I really should give a correction.  But if I correct him, I'm going to have to check at 4am.  Then I'm up at 6am....I can't do it!  I can't! 

Then a brilliant idea hit me.  (Thank you, Lord!) 

Maybe I can say this is a basal test!  It's not like he's 250....It really would be good to know if he goes up from here right?  AND...tomorrow isn't a school day for him, if he wakes a little high...I'll fix it.

So I went back to bed.  No correction.

I felt a little guilty for not giving 100% for Matthew.

But it kind of felt good, too.  I was giving me 100%. 

I got up around 6am, he was 177.  I gave a correction and he was good to go by breakfast.

Now....if I could only determine to give myself 100% when trying to drop 30 pounds....

(But I think this proves that I'm learning.....)

The Grass is Not Always Greener

Yesterday I hosted my monthly Doctor Mom group.  I love these ladies!  It's so easy to look at others and think they have a perfect life.

But EVERYONE is dealing with something.  Take my group for example.

There are moms who have kids with diabetes, crohns, OCD, autism, anxiety issues.  Some kids have been the the psych ward.  Some young adult kids have been in DKA...several times in the past year. 

Some kids have threatened suicide. 

Such is the life of a Doctor Mom, right?

But some moms have kids who are doing amazing!  One mom in particular has a type 1 teen and was raving about how fabulous her daughter is doing. 

Of course this mom still has struggles because her husband just lost his job.

If you're struggling today, please remember that no one has a perfect life.  Take each day as it comes and count your blessings!  They are there....somewhere.

I think that's one great thing about being a Doctor Mom:  We don't take the little things for granted. 

For example, Matthew slept in a little this morning. When I checked on him and he rolled over in bed, I was so thankful! 

Only Doctor Moms fully appreciate the simple gift of life.

New Member of the DOC

It's time to welcome another member to the DOC.  I found Jess on the CWD website.  She's not new to diabetes, but is new to blogging. 

Jess was diagnosed when she was 15 years old and now she's sweet 16.

And get this---her blog is called Faith Injected.  Is that cool or what?!

Pop over and say hi!

Basal Results and Surprises

Well the basal results are in:  Wednesdays results were the total opposite of last weeks.  So....no changes made.  I'll revisit this later.

Moving on...at church last night, they had surprise ice cream sundaes.  Yay!  Uh...not so much.

Tell me:  Why must everything be celebrated with a cupcake, pizza, or ice cream?  People!  It's hard on a d-mom!

Anyway, pizza and ice cream are the 2 foods that really do cause Matthew trouble.  Pizza, we pretty much have figured out, but having it at night is NOT good.

Ice cream is another story.  We rarely have it because the fat always causes Matthew's BG to shoot up at 4 hours.  Instead, we'll go to those fat-free frozen yogurt places around town and the BG is awesome.

But the surprise ice cream was not fat-free.  Nonetheless, we totally rocked it!  At 4 hours, he did go up to 183 (so much better than the 200s/300s we've seen following ice cream) and then he came down.

The one thing that does bother me? 

Events like last night remind me that while I am doing okay, I'm still mourning the loss of Matthew's freedom.

Dealing with diabetes is one thing.  Managing the emotions that go along with it?  That's another story.

The Joy of Basal Testing

We've been really blessed over the past several weeks.  Overall, Matthew's BG hasn't been too wacky.

I mean, it's always up and down, but hey!  He has diabetes,right?

Recently, it's a different story.

Random highs all over the place....with no pattern at all. 

Overnight basal tests back-to-back showed different results!  (Thank goodness I didn't make changes or he would have gone really low!)

I'm going to tackle testing again tomorrow morning...hoping the results are consistent.  He went low today at school.  He was 156 at 2 hours and then went low after that.  I feel pretty confident that it's a basal issue.  We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Thankfully, Matthew is such a good sport.  I never ask him to do a basal test unless it's really necessary.

And people, it's necessary!

The Bloody Mess...

We had changed Matthew's pod that afternoon.  At dinner, his BG was 315.  A quick look at the pod showed blood in the cannula.

We deactivated that one, put on a new one and I left Matthew to take off the old pod.

Then he started yelling to me.  Mom!  Come here!  LOOK AT THE FLOOR!

I'll be honest...first, I thought there was a snake on the floor. (Been there.  Done that.)

Then, when I realized he was standing at the pantry door, I thought water was leaking down from the upstairs bathroom.  (Been there. Done that too.)

But no.....instead blood was spilling all over the floor. Oh goody.

And while the pictures look horrible, Matthew wasn't in pain.  He was pretty shocked by all the blood, but not hurting.

That's when I thought camera!  So I asked if I could take a picture.

As soon as those words passed through my lips, he started laughing and laughing.

So....we got through our bleeder.  Been there.  Done that.

The Reality of Diabetes

I can count on one hand the people in my life who take Matthew's diabetes seriously. 

The rest?  Honestly, they act like it's no big deal.

I wish they could have been with me when this happened.....

Diabetes is hard. 

Never-ending. 

Expensive.

Messy. 

Painful. 

Carb Help for Halloween

The American Diabetes Association has great info on the carb counts in various types of candy. 

I saw it on FB yesterday and wanted to pass it along.  Get your printer ready---it's fantastic!

I don't know about your child's school, but every time we turn around, there's a "candy review" for something!

Here's the link.

I hope this makes the upcoming Halloween season a bit easier!  : )

Artificial Pancreas

I just read an interesting article on the artificial pancreas and thought I'd pass it along.

Type 1 diabetes is one of the most expensive diseases to treat because it is 24/7/365.  Forever.

Unfortunately, the artificial pancreas won't change that.....

Here's the link.

Conquering Fears

When it comes to diabetes, I have many fears, but there are 2 that top the list:

Fear #1: Matthew will go low overnight and not wake up.
Fear #2: Matthew will go low while swimming and drown.

This post is about fear #2. 

This past weekend, Matthew was invited to a friend's house and the mom asked me if he could swim.

Matthew has been swimming lots of times....with me.  Never without me.  I started to say no.  And then I started thinking:

Okay Tracy...Swimming has gone great lately.  If he follows a few rules, he can do this.  He really can....

I decided to go for it!

We set rules:

1. Check BG before swimming.
2. Call me.  You'll probably need a starburst to take you up quick, then a fun size snickers will keep you going. 
3. You can swim for one hour.

He followed the rules and did beautifully.  I was so proud of myself for letting him be "normal."

But here's the best part:

At dinner, when he saw his fantastic BG of 112.....with a huge smile on his face, he said, "I ROCKED IT!"

I'll never forget that moment and I'm so thankful that God helped me be brave.

Blessings by Laura Story

If you haven't heard this song, today is the day to change that. 

It's a beautiful song that very D-Mom will identify with.  Especially the line about sleepless nights. 

I cry every single time I hear it. 

And guess what?  Someone sang it in church today.  As the tears spilled out of my eyes, boy was I wishing there was a tissue in my purse.

Laura's husband has been battling a brain tumor and this song was born out of those moments.

Listen to here share her story here.  It's runs about 2 minutes, then listen to the song.

Oh....And have a tissue handy.

Silly Talk Overnight

Do your kids talk when they're half asleep and you're trying to get them to drink juice?

Sometimes Matthew is hysterical.

Me:  Honey, you need to drink some juice.  Can you drink some juice for me?

Matthew:  Yep. (Then closes mouth.)

Me:  Matthew, I need you to drink some juice.  Open your mouth.

Matthew:  I can't. I'm grounded.

Me:  No, you're not grounded, silly, I just need you to drink some juice.

Matthew:  Oh, I'm just talking to myself.

Me:  (Now I'm really laughing.)  Well....can you drink some juice?  Open your mouth.

Finally, I get the straw in his mouth and he drinks.  What a goof!

School is in full swing....

And it's going great!  (Thank you, Lord!)

The first week, Matthew ran a little low at lunchtime.  VERY surprising because my kiddo gets so excited about school that his sugar runs high.  Guess I was a bit aggressive with fixing that this year....

Anyway, I made adjustments and he ran high on Tuesday.  Whatever.

Today is take three.  Time will tell...

On a related note, I was thinking recently how hard is it to "control" myself when picking him up from school.

He's all excited to tell me about his day...his friends...what goofy things his friends did at lunch.

But me?  Of course, I care about all that stuff.  I really do!

But FIRST I want to know:

Did you go low? 

How many carbs did you take? 

What was your number at lunch? 

No worries though.  I put on my "Mom Face" and toss aside my "D-Mom Face" until Matthew shares his joy.

Then I ask about that other stuff.....

PLEASE Give Me Your Tips

How in the world do you keep up with social media without spending your life on the computer?

Seriously, I need help.

I want help!

With all my heart, I want to keep up with everyone's blogs, but sometimes life gets in the way.  Still....this is important to me so I want to figure it out.

I know some of you have this down to a science.

You know who you are...you mascara wearing, princess-loving, candy-heart, Lawton owning, stiletto heel-loving d-moms....just off the top of my head.

I beg you!  Share your secrets!

I don't want to spend my life on the computer!

Yearly Eye Appointment

Matthew had his yearly eye exam today.  It went great!

Well....except for having his eyes dilated. The poor child acts like they're pulling his eyeballs right out of his head. 

But I know....it's no fun.

The good news is that his eyes are healthy!

And the appointment is over.

Victory!

Another Diabetes Death

We've lost another child to diabetes.  Beautiful 14-year-old Emily.  From what I've read this family was super active with the JDRF...very responsible family.  It's heartbreaking.

And, I think there was another death as well....an 18-year-old who just moved into her first apartment and suffered lows all day. 

Days like this, I get so frustrated with people who look at Matthew and....almost ignore the diabetes because he's thriving.  Yes!  He's thriving, but only by the grace of God and serious care 24/7/365. 

So many people just don't get it.  Too many kids are dying from this disease.

It's a hard day to be a d-mom.

Where did I put my brain?

Last week was the hottest week we have had in years. 

And what did I do?

Started crocheting a blanket!

It's going to be so pretty!

My Troublemaker Boys

So today my boys decided to go for a morning bike ride.

Matthew LOVES biking with Kevin.  They have such fun simply exploring the neighborhood.

Or so I thought.

While they were gone, I planned to dash to the grocery store.  When I got there, this is what I saw in the parking lot:

What a surprise!!


(FYI:  Matthew does wear a helmet, but it's so darn hot that he took it off while they rested...)

Help! I'm Melting......

This heat is ridiculous.  Beyond ridiculous.  Seriously. 

Here's what my car said yesterday.  (While I was stopped in a parking lot!)

As many of you know, my fabulous husband is a TV weatherman.  (That was also my career in the pre -Matthew days.) 

People are always complaining to Kevin about the weather.  Especially these days. 

His favorite line?

"I'm in marketing.  God's in manufacturing!"

Temporary Basal....advice?

I've decided one of my projects is to work on temporary basal.  This has to be one of the coolest features of the pump, but I have yet to use it very much. 

Last night, I decided to go for it.  And ummm.....I use some help.

Matthew was 97 at 11pm.  (Yeah, so much for that late-night spike!)

Instead of juice, I did a 50% decrease for 30 minutes.  About an hour later, he was 147 and then went up into the 190s.  Not exactly what I was going for, but you have to start somewhere...right?

Here's my question.  What would you have done?

I know YDMV and will from day-to-day!  I'm just looking for some guidelines.

Three cheers for my blogging friends who are always there for me with help and encouragement!!!

Trying New Things

After the endo appointment last week, Kevin and I are making a few changes. 

Our big diabetic issue with Matthew:  2 hours after dinner his BG is great, but he's high at 4 hours.  Every single night.

The entire medical team has tried everything to fix it...instead, we're going to "go with it."  Here's our plan:

1. When he's around 100 just 2 hours after dinner, I will not give him a little "boost."  Instead, I will wait to see what happens.  (It has been VERY hard to put him to bed at 100, knowing there is 2 hours of IOB!  But Matthew's system is "unique" at night....)
2. Matthew's bedtime is 8pm.  We are moving it back to 9pm.  That way he'll catch a drop if it happens.  By the way, this is additional reading time for him.  (Oh and he thinks staying up later is an awesome benefit of having diabetes.)
3. When he does go high at night, instead of thinking "correction" we will simply give .25 or .50 units of insulin.  (In the past, if he was 200, we'd give most of correction and then we'd be up monitoring active IOB every 2 hours.  By doing a small amount, there is less fear and his BG is coming down.  Plus---without that 8pm "boost" he's not going as high! (Of course, sometimes he'll need a major correction....)

We tried this over the weekend with great success!

And more sleep.

Until he grows again!  : )

SIDENOTE:  I've started a Daily Doctor Mom group on Facebook.  Let me know if you'd like to join. It's a place for prayer and praise!

Endo Appointment

Today we saw our very favorite nurse practitioner and there was good news along with.....a lecture/pep talk.

First, we got the good 'ole A1C number.

Drum roll please.  6.5

And of course, the best part is that we haven't had a lot of lows.  Still quite a few highs, but since we're quick to correct them, the A1C is good.  A huge blessing.

I also got my questions answered.  (FYI, I was right on the correction--go me!)

However, before the appointment was over, I did get a mini-lecture from the CDE.  Not because I'm doing a bad job---quite the opposite:  she doesn't think I give myself enough credit.  Neither does Kevin.

Sigh.  It's probably true. 

I don't know.  Who knew being a pancreas could be so...emotional?

I left the office, so happy about the A1C and yet....it doesn't change anything. Matthew still has diabetes. 

After his appointment, we went out to lunch.  We still had to count carbs, check his BG, bolus.  (And we ended up at 290.)

There's just no break, even with a good A1C. 

Don't get me wrong.....I'm happy about our success this past 3 months.  I think I've done a great job! 

But it's hard to celebrate when the job never ends....you just start working on the next A1C.

Diabetes is still here.

Changes at McDonald's

Have you heard about the changes coming to the McDonald's Happy Meals?

They're adding apples to every Happy Meal and cutting the amount of fries in half. 

Easy-breezy for most parents, unless your kiddo has diabetes.  Then it's time to refigure those carbs again. 

(Of course, McDonald's is one of the restaurants that does an awesome job giving out that information.  I'm sure they'll continue with these upcoming changes....)

Anyway, we don't go there often....perhaps you don't either...but I wanted to pass on this info anyway.

According to this article, the changes start in September. 

(Which is right around the corner!  When did that happen?!)

Minute Maid Just 10

Hey D-Moms--have you seen this product?

It's fantastic!  Matthew took one taste and couldn't believe it was only 2 carbs. That's right, just 2 little carbs.  So don't let the "10" deceiver you. The "10" refers to calories. 

For the upcoming school year, I'm sure I'll be packing this in the lunch box a lot.  I always gave Matthew milk in the past, but this allows him to be a little more like the other kids.

(I don't know about you, but I never can bring myself to bolus him for juice......)

Need help with Correction Factor

Okay d-moms.  I need some help here. Warning....this is a bit long. Sorry about that!  I always try to keep posts short and sweet.  Ummm....not today!

Right up front, I'll tell you that we see the endo next week and I'll ask about this.  But I'm trying to do some research first so I understand what they tell me. 

Matthew was diagnosed in March 2010. At that time, we were given told his correction factor was 1:100. Meaning 1 unit or insulin drops him 100 points.

We started pumping in December and left the correction factor alone. (Though at night, we usually only give half corrections to avoid lows...)

After basal testing recently, I'm seeing some patterns that point to making a change in the correction factor. I think.  Here goes....

In the morning, corrections usually don't work.

At dinner, corrections usually work too well and he goes lower than I want.

I'm thinking we need to lower the correction factor in the morning and raise it at night. Is that right?

I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around this for some reason. And where do you start....

I did find a calculation somewhere(CWD forums??) that talked about taking the meal ratio and multplying it by the # points one carbs raises your sugar.  (Whatever that is called.)

If I do that...it would change his morning correction from 1-100 to 1-70.

Evening correction would change from 1-100 to 1-154.

Ever heard of this??  Oh, and I'm not planning on making these changes until after the appoinment, just trying to understand better.

Any advice on correction factor is appreciated.  A lot.  : )

My Carb-Counting King...

So Matthew is planning his own dinners these days. 

With Kevin's work schedule, we usually have our "dinner" mid-day and a simple sandwich in the evening.

Here is Matthew's one of his favorites.  Came to 91 carbs.

He's gonna be a carb-counting king in no time! 

(Especially if a friend invites him over for PB & J!)

Endo Appointment Next Week

So you know what that means....

Everything has gone WaCkY. 

Random highs.

Random lows.

No pattern in sight. 

Except of course, the pattern that we have our endo appointment next week.

Pizza and Ice Cream Question

So we went to a birthday party Friday night.  First they served pizza.  Not a big problem for us---I've got that down pat!  : )
I did our usual extended. (70/30 3 hours)  Matthew enjoyed the pizza.

Then....they served ice cream.  Ummm...still working on that, but it involves another extended. (25/75 4 hours)

The pod can only do ONE extended at a time.  Not sure about other pumps.

I had NO IDEA what to do.  Can't tell you how long I just stared at that PDM...totally perplexed.

Here's what I finally went with:  I looked to see what was left to be delivered from the pizza extended.  Hmmm.....55 I think.

Then I cancelled that extended.  Started a new one for the ice cream and added half a unit to that.

He did go low (60s) a bit later, but he caught it and recovered nicely.  Rest of the night went great.

Is there a better way to handle this?  (Thanks in advance!)

Another Diabetes Death?

Have you seen this story?  It appears another 14-year-old girl has lost her life to diabetes.

It breaks my heart.

Please pray for her family and their loss.

My Summer Project (for Matthew)

School starts ONE month from tomorrow!  I can't believe it.  I blinked and summer is almost over.

So....time to work on my "Matthew List."

Some of you may remember last summer, I had 2 big goals for Matthew:

1. Get in the habit of taking his kit when he goes out.
2. Recognize his lows and know how to treat them.

He did great on both counts.

This summer, I simply want him to take on another "diabetes responsibility" and it's his choice!

I told him it could be anything from carb counting, to writing his BG in the logbook, to learning to change his pod. Just one small task he can do on his own.

He chose planning his dinner and counting the carbs by himself.

Of course, we talk about carbs, but Matthew isn't really responsible for this yet.  This is one step in the right direction.

And I'm excited about that!  : )

Question:  How do you begin transferring responsibility to your kids?

Finally.....Summer Fun!

This summer has been the busiest one we've had in years. 

As soon as school was out, we headed to Virginia.  Then Matthew had 2 weeks of swimming lessons.  The very next week was VBS and after that, he had diabetes camp.

All fun stuff.  But seriously, isn't summer a time to....relax?

I think so!  This week we're finally able to just have fun. 

Matthew's played with a couple friends.  We're enjoying library days again.  Today, the zoo is on our list. 

We even took time to paint yesterday. 

This is what summer is all about! I just want to enjoy my kiddo!

An Unexpected Low

Last night was one of those nights that leaves you wondering "What if......"

Matthew had dinner at 6pm, we checked him at 8pm and his BG was 150.  I was thrilled.  Anything over 140 is usually quite good for him at night and I wasn't worried a bit.

I decided I would check him again at 10pm before we went to bed.  He went to bed around 8:30pm.

A little after 9, he calls me because he felt low.  You could tell he felt terrible.  He was down to 55.  After 15 carbs, he only came up to 82.

I am so thankful that he didn't fall asleep right away and caught it.  (He never catches lows at night.)

But here's the thing:  I was not going to check him for another 45 minutes.  The thought of that terrifies me.  Kevin and I were both really shaken up.

I'm so thankful that God was watching out for him.  Especially when I thought he was okay.

Sometimes you look at Matthew and....he's just thriving! 

And then other times, you look at him and you realize how fragile his life really is.

Happy Friday!

Heading into the weekend and I have very little to say. 

Matthew is growing again.  Average BG for the past couple days is in the 200s.  Sigh.  We did get a 116 a few minutes ago.  Yay.  Basal testing set for Sunday.

We're heading to a birthday party soon.  The swimming should be great for his BG.  The ice cream sundaes at night?  Ahhh.....not so much.  He's never even HAD a sundae since diagnosis and I have no idea how to bolus.

Guess I'm in store for a long night.

But what's my choice?  I would rather him be a "normal" kid tonight and I'll fix the BG later.

(Unless I SWAG like a rockstar!)

New Disney Character---With Type 1 Diabetes!

Yes folks, it's true.  Disney has created a monkey named Coco, who has Type 1 diabetes. 

This photo was taken at the Friends For Life Conference in Florida and shared on Twitter yesterday.

Isn't she adorable?  Hooray for Disney! 

Blog Roll Update

Hello Blogger Friends!

I need your help.  I've made some changes to my site and I've update the blog roll.  (Finally....)

Please look for your blog, if I've failed to include you, let me know and I'll happily pop you in.

For those of you with cute, little buttons, I finally figured out how to include those, too.

(I'm so envious.  I want one, but don't know where to start or what to do!)

Also....If you're having a rough day and need a pep talk, visit my other site.  DailyDoctorMom

Happy 4th of July!

I hope you're all having a FANTASTIC day.  Ours is starting off GREAT! 

Why?

Well, Matthew has endured over:

• 4500 finger pricks
• 1500 shots
• 70 pod changes

But TODAY he finally gathered up the courage to learn how to ride his bike.  AND HE ROCKS AT IT!!

(No--I won't remind you how old my child is.  Victory is victory and I'll take it whenever it comes!)

Happy 4th!

Camp Pictures

Day One.  Last year, there were only 2 boys in Matthew's group and the other boy was sick for the last 3 days of camp.  This year, we prayed that Matthew would find a good buddy.  God answered!

EVERY SINGLE DAY he came home filthy! 

Yes, I should have just tossed him in the shower, but he was low. And yes, I did put a towel down first!


Just like last year, socks were simply thrown in the trash and he ruined another pair of shoes. (Oh, and I'm not complaining---totally worth it!)

But after a solid week of fun.....here's a picture of Matthew on the last day.  It only took 10 years to wear him out!  : )

D-Camp. A Huge Success

Matthew had the best time at camp.  He met some really good friends and was completely exhausted each night.  So nice!

Probably the best thing he said though? 

"Mom, I had kind of forgotten about shots.  I'm so glad I have a pump."

Wow.  My kid is growing up.

Gotta run to the store.  I'll try to post pictures later today.  : )

(If you're having a rough day and need a pep talk, visit my other site.  DailyDoctorMom)

Come visit!

My new website launches today!  I hope you'll come join me.  (But I'll still be posting here!)

Daily Doctor Mom is for EVERY MOM who has a child with medical needs. 

Because at the end of it all, it doesn't really matter what illness our child has, we all share a common bond.  Let's walk the road together!

Another New Adventure--Join Me!

I haven't been blogging much recently because I've been working on a project. 

It's called Daily Doctor Mom and it's for every mom who has a child with medical needs.  I won't focus on specific diseases, instead I'll focus on all the other issues we face.  Worry, fear, exhaustion....sound familiar?

My goal is to encourage and inspire every Doctor Mom.  Yes, this is the toughest job we'll ever face, but with God's help, we can do this successfully!

I hope you'll go on the journey with me.  Please share this with anyone you know who has a child with medical needs.

See you tomorrow!  Click here to visit my new site.

Oh!  And I'll still be posting here.  You can't get rid of me that easily!!

Camp is a Huge Success!

Matthew is having a blast at camp.  He's up at the crack of dawn and falling into bed before the sun sets.  Nothing but adventure inbetween.  Life is good for that kid right now.  (I even let him off the hook for chores this week!)

His BG has been pretty good.  A couple of lows at times, but thankfully he recognizes them.  Plus, his nurse is fantastic!  God is blessing us once again.

Overnights are a different story.  Last night, he started going low. The exact same thing happened last year as well.  All the activity just caught up with him. 

Last night, I had to give him juice every 2 hours. Tonight I'm going to try a temporary basal and see if that helps.

One thing is for sure....I am amazed at how God created our bodies.  Seriously!  That pancreas is one fantastic little organ. 

Working ones really should get more recognition......

Diabetes Camp

Camp started today and I confess!  I'm a little nervous.  I know it'll get better for me once I hear how his first day went.  But right now?  Too many unknowns for me to relax.

Of course, my fear is nothing like last year when I was simply terrified.  Honestly, I just wanted to hang out with him all day.  Leave my child?  All day?  What?

But a lot has changed in a year.

This morning, I thought about just shoving him out the car window as I drove past!  Hahahaha....

How much God has grown us this year!

(Note:  I'm still not ready for overnight camp!)

V-B-S Equals F-U-N!

VBS was a huge success.  Of course, we're totally exhausted, but it was great!

Matthew's BG was good, for the most part.  Until today that is....

The kiddos had popsicles for snack time.  Yes, I was smart enough to visit the kitchen and check out the carb count.  But....

I was in such a hurry that I failed to look at the serving size.  Bad move!  I gave too much insulin!

Thankfully, I caught the mistake before he went low.  Glad God helped me out on that one.  : )

Matthew was on a the blue team.  Here's a picture of him with his pal, Garrett.  And yes, their hair is blue!

10-year-old boys....

Tonight is movie night.  Matthew pops in Space Chimps 2.

"Mom!  Good news--it's rated PG for mild-rude humor.  YAY!  This is going to be awesome!"

VBS--Yay!

VBS kicks off today and we're so excited!  The theme is taking us to New York.  Sounds like a fantastic adventure!

I'm volunteering in the Missions room, with my best friend.  (How convenient!)

Matthew will be with the 6th graders, hanging out with his best friend.  (Yes, we bumped him up a year so he could be with Garrett.)

I hope to have lots of pictures to share.  Especially of Crazy Hair Day!!

On a D-note....last year, VBS snacks were such a challenge.  Being on MDI was tough!  Trying to make sure his carbs matched that ratio...getting it exact.  Yikes!  It was hard work.

This year, the pump should make it so much easier.  Just pop in whatever carbs he eats and he should be good to go. 

I'm also much more confident about him catching lows.  I was a little worried last year.

It's amazing how much we've grown this past year with diabetes.  God is so good to get us through--successfully!

Mother of the Year Award

NOT!

Matthew has been going a little low 2 hours after dinner.  Not super-low, but around 100.  Certainly too low for 2 hours of IOB.

Last night, I decided to up his dinner ratio from 1-18 to 1-20. 

But....

I forgot to program his pump.

So......last night after dinner, I sent him to 41.  Poor guy.  He hasn't been that low in a while.  He was a good sport, but I felt bad.

To any new D-Moms out there, I hope this makes you feel a little better.  We all make mistakes.  Fortunately, Matthew caught the low.  God is good.

But making those kind of mistakes really stinks!

Our Swimming Routine

Last year was our first year swimming with diabetes.  I was SHOCKED at how swimming drops Matthew's BG.  Seriously.  I guess it's because he's moving arms and legs....not just legs, like running?  Whatever the reason, that kiddo drops in the pool.

So much, that last year, I didn't even let him take lessons at all.  I just couldn't handle it.  We were so new to diabetes.  In hindsight, I suppose I should have braved it.  Oh well....

I was brave this year!  Today he finished up 2 weeks of swimming lessons.  Yes, I was dreading it, it but God really blessed us.  We got into a groove quickly.

I found that if I gave Matthew 10 carbs uncovered, he could swim for an hour before needing another boost. 

Oh, last thing, I made sure they were slow carbs.  Almond clusters, fun size snickers, peanut butter crackers.  They all worked great!

Of course, YDMV.   (Your diabetes may vary.)  But this worked great for Matthew.  This time.  You know how that goes!

Busy Summer!

My poor blog is being so ignored.  But trust me....it's because we're having a great summer.  Very busy, but very fun!

Swimming lessons this week.  (Last week, too.) That's been a bit of a blood sugar adventure, but not bad at all.

Aside from swimming though, Matthew is going through another growth spurt. (The little stinker!)   LOTS of high BG's that I'm working on.  As soon as I get the basal straight, it'll be good for a couple of days, then he's high again.  I'm learning this is typical when he's growing. 

Here's an example, last night at 9pm, he was 120.  I was thrilled!  By midnight, he was around 270.  What a rise!

I continue to pray for wisdom daily and God continues to share freely.  Thank goodness!

Hope all is well with you.  I'm working to catch up on blog reading!  : )

You Won't Believe This.....

Yesterday it was one thing after another. 

It started with a pod failure DURING delivery of the morning bolus.

On a school day.

Just hours before a pizza party.

No joke.

Of course, with the failure the big question was....Did he get the insulin or not?  The PDM showed what amount he "supposedly" got.  I made calculations and gave him the rest once we changed the pod.

But....he checked after 1st period.  Over 300. 

Crap.  Yes, I hate it when words like that pop out of my mouth, but this 300 was causing serious problems because.......

Apparently, he did NOT get all the insulin.  OR

The new pod isn't working.....

(Keep in mind this is ON A SCHOOL DAY BEFORE A PIZZA PARTY!  My mind was racing trying to think through all the variables.)

Decided to go with a major correction, he got down to 277 by lunchtime.

Not really where I wanted him to be before loading him up with pizza.  But....

That's life sometimes.  Oh goody.

Good news though....in the end, diabetes did not win!

After school he was a beautiful 123 and he stayed in range the rest of the day.

(Well, to be honest, that rage bolus may have resulted in some minor low blood sugar.  Just 70s.  And I may have had to give a couple glucose tabs....and....half a juice box.  Whatever!.....I'm calling it VICTORY!)

Silly Boy

So I decide to get a little silly with Matthew.

I pick up his hand for a BG check:  "Okay, Fingers, which one of you wants to help me today?"

Matthew is the voice of his fingers:  "None of us.  We're all tired!"

We laughed and laughed.......

Thank you!

Dear Sweet D-Moms,

Thank you for your support and encouragement.  What would I do without you?!  (I don't want to know!)

Today is a brighter day, even though it;s cloudy outside, and you deserve much of the credit for that.

After much thinking and prayer, I have decided to do as many of you suggested.....relish in the fact that I know my child! 

True, I may not have a medical degree, but I'm a first class Doctor Mom.

Go me!

Poop on Diabetes

I'm in a diabetes funk.  Big time. 

And why?  Yesterday we got Matthew's A1C:  6.7

Doesn't get much  better than that, right?  I should throw a party.

But here I sit, completely overwhelmed and depressed.

We saw new endo yesterday.  And yes, overall I did like him and Matthew liked him....which matters a lot to me.

(Sidenote:  Mom and Dad, sorry I didn't tell you all this yesterday.  I was still processing the visit when we talked.....)

The quick version is that apparently Matthew has an unusual 8-10pm spike.  Though Reyna sees the same thing with Joe and boy does that make me feel better. (click here to read more.)

Anyway, when the doctor saw that Matthew's basal doubles from 6-10....well, let's just say it wasn't textbook and he wanted to change that.  (Has he met diabetes?)

He wanted me to lower it and see what would happen.  Gee....I never tried that....HA!

The second he left the room, I told Kevin there was no way I was going to lower his basal by that amount!  Kevin convinced me to talk to the doctor more about it.

Well, I do have a smart husband and I agreed with him.  I told the doctor my concerns.  Showed him the logbook..... He was polite, but felt confident his idea would work.  (Really?)

After some hesitation, I finally agreed.  After all, he is the one who went to medical school, right?

Dinner BG 86
Two hours after dinner:  311

And yes, we battled highs until midnight.....when he finally tanked and I had to feed glucose tabs and juice.

Thanks Doctor.

An Honest Confession

You know you've had too many highs when your child finally goes low.....

and you feel relieved.

That's saying something.

Endo Appointment Next Week.....

So....of course BG's are not the best this week.  Don't you just hate that.

Random highs for no reason.

And then highs that come because...well....had a meal out and didn't quite count those carbs right.

Either way....it's highs and more highs. 

Every week for the past month---I mean every single week---I have had to up Matthew's basals.  I think we've only had 1 day in the past month where he was in range the entire day. 

But I've been quick to correct.  I'm learning to be aggressive.

And yet, cautious.  Especially at night.

(The story of the teenager who lost her life this week breaks my heart.  Before Matthew had diabetes, I had no idea that kids actually died of this disease.)

It's all such a balancing act.

I guess the A1C on Monday will tell the real story......

Edited to add:  Just checked the BG and he's high again.  Oh goody!

I Listened

God has been talking to me a lot lately.  And yes, I listened this time.  Boy did it pay off!

It all started several weeks ago, after the earthquake in Japan.  I started thinking....what if Matthew didn't have access to insulin?  Am I prepared for an emergency?  What would we do?

So.....I wrote out an emergency list (oh my, it is huge!).  I'll try to remember to add the list to the end of this post.

Anyway, I packed a backpack.   I did not include everything from the emergency list (no insulin, ice packs and such) but I did print out a copy of the list and put it in the pack, so we could run through it real quick and get the necessary supplies.  No thinking needed. (I love that part.)

But....in the back of my head, I kept thinking....I should put an extra lancing device in my purse. Matthew has one in his kit now, but what if he loses it.....

So.....I tossed one in my purse.  Actually, I went ahead and tossed another glucose meter in as well.  Just in case....

Several times, I picked up that little kit in my purse and got ready to take it out.  Do you have any idea how full my purse is??? 

But every single time, I felt like God was telling me I needed to keep it there.  Okay....

Fast forward to yesterday's soccer game.  We go to check Matthew's sugar pre-game and----you guessed it!----the poker wasn't there! 

But this prepared little momma opened her purse, whipped another another poker and saved the day!  I mean, really, how else would we have checked his sugar?  I sure didn't want to use that pocketknife in my purse!

I know without a doubt that God had been preparing me for that moment and yay!  I listened.  I should do that more often....

Here's our emergency list.  I'm just keeping the backpack in our pantry.  Ready to grab at a moments notice. 

If we're away from home when the emergency arises, we're outta luck.  I'm not sure what to do about that.  Matthew always has his kit with him.  I pray that will give us what we need until we could get access to everything else.

Emergency Diabetes List
Get Matthew's daily kit
Get insulin from fridge
Write down pump settings/ratios
Glucagon
Ice packs
Pods
Test strips
Batteries for pump
Ketone strips
Back-up meter/strips
Calculator
Starbursts
PB crackers
Alcohol wipes
Flashlight
Cups
Copy of prescription info
Glucose tabs
Insulated pack
Syringes
Lancets
Bandaids
Granola bars
Juice boxes
Frio pack

All you rockin' D-Moms.....let me know if I forgot anything!

The Invisible Disease

Diabetes is such an invisible disease.   One look at Matthew and you see a healthy, average kid.  He's thriving.  He runs around like a healthy child should.  He's playing soccer.  Life appears to be normal.

Which is a blessing. 

Sometimes.

It's great for Matthew because he doesn't seem "different" and people don't look at him sideways.

But the invisibility means that people don't see the seriousness of diabetes.  They don't realize how often we have to make him bleed to check his sugar.  The counting carbs.  The weighing and measuring every single meal.  Battling highs.  Middle of the night checks.  The frustration Matthew feels when he's low at school and has to stop to check his sugar. 

(Which, by the way, he didn't yesterday.  Even though he felt low.  His teacher sometimes asks what his number is in front of the whole class and he hates that.  Of course, her heart is in the right place, but he hates it.  So he didn't check.  Great.  No worries though, we have a plan.)
 
Okay, back on topic.

The truth is.....Matthew isn't your average kid.  Every day he (and all those other kids with D) deals with one of the worst diseases you could possibly have.  It never ends.  There is no break whatsoever.

So.....This is what concerns me about that.  How can money be raised for a cure....or better tools to help with this disease......when people don't know what diabetes is really like for our kids?

They think this is easy.  They think this is no big deal. 

I didn't think it was a big deal until it happened to us.  I thought if you had diabetes, you had to have shots and you couldn't eat sugar. 

Until you live it, you have no idea.

A Huge Discovery

Since March of last year, I've been caught in the headlights of diabetes.  It hasn't been pretty.

Diabetes has challenged every single area of my life.  EVERYTHING has been impacted by diabetes.  Life has changed forever. 

And quite frankly, I haven't handled it very well.  I mean, I'm doing my best and life is getting better.  God is carrying me through....of that, I am confident.

The biggest challenge for me is high blood sugar.  I hate it.  I feel like such a failure when the highs linger. 

My brain travels on fast-forward to the future complications that Matthew might face.....all because I cannot get his sugar in range today.

I don't want him to pay for my mistakes.

But I've made a huge discovery!  (Thanks in part to my more faithful quiet time with God....and also a recent post by Meri.)

I have learned that the bad times don't last. 

Matthew may be high for days or even weeks.  I will rack my brain trying to figure out if it's because of a growth spurt?  Coming out of honeymoon?  Basal?  Bolus?  Mistakes on carb counting?  The list of possibilitites is endless.

BUT...I will figure it out.  Eventually I WILL get his sugar back in range.  I WILL!

Bad days do not last forever.

Just until the next growth spurt....or carb counting mistakes.....or high fat meal....or activity mis-calculations......or......

Hello out there.......

Sorry I've been MIA.....again. 

All you faithful bloggers seriously impress me.  I mean, how do you do it?  I can hardly write my own posts each week, much less keep up with all of you!

But I want to!  I love you!  I miss you!  Bear with me while I catch up on my blog reading.

And forgive me in advance when I slip up again.  And I will.  But I'm not doing it on purpose!

Okay, with that said.  Life is totally CrAzY here. Can you say "High BG?"

During Spring Break, Matthew's started having lots of highs.  That trend has seriously continued.  (Day before yesterday, he spent ALL MORNING hovering around 350.  Yesterday, 250.  Sigh.) 

I keep upping the basal. It works for a bit, then I need to up it again. 

At first I thought it was another growth spurt---and it may be---but I think he's working out of honeymoon. (It's been just over a year since diagnosis.) 

But people, the honeymoon ending is NO honeymoon.  Yikes!  I'll be so glad to get him settled soon.

In the meantime, I'm just really trying to stay on top of it.  As soon as I see a pattern, I increase the insulin and try to slay that dragon! 

But I'm not much of a warrior.  Sigh......

Hugs and kisses to all!  : )

Great Wolf Lodge Surprise

Here's a 60 second look at how it all started. 

Matthew is the excited one and the other kiddo is Matthew's best friend, Garrett.

Dear Matthew

One year ago today, you were diagnosed with diabetes. It’s been a hard year. Full of lancets, blood, sugar checks, shots, ketones, carb counting, pod changes, highs and those lows that you hate so much. The list goes on and on.

But despite the challenges that this year has brought, your dad and I are choosing to CELEBRATE this day! Not only because you are alive and healthy, but because this past year you have grown in ways we never could have dreamed of. YOU turned this into a year of bravery, courage, and fearlessness.

God is teaching you to be BRAVE. I first noticed it at History Night last spring. Mrs. MacKenzie asked for a volunteer who wanted to go up to the microphone and invite parents to her classroom after the program. Your dad and I were shocked to discover that you volunteered. The boy I knew wouldn't have considered it. But you gathered up your courage, marched right up and spoke in front of about 200 strangers! My heart burst with pride as I watched you put your nervousness aside and take a risk. Wow!

God is teaching you to be COURAGEOUS.  Remember diabetes camp? I know it was scary at first. Other than Tanner, you didn’t know a single person. And you were so new to diabetes. But did that stop you? No way! You chose to be courageous and go for it! Not only did you have fun, you also walked away with the Most Responsible Award. Now you want to be a Counselor-In-Training one day….just like Derek. With your smile, sense of humor, and outgoing spirit, I know you will be a blessing and encouragement to all the kids.

God is teaching you to be FEARLESS.  Remember when you decided to give yourself that first shot? Something you continued to do every day for months. You are becoming a boy willing to do whatever it takes to take care of himself. I AM SO PROUD OF THIS CHOICE!! Your dad and I love that we can trust you to do what we ask. It takes a lot of courage to do the right thing.

God is turning you into a BRAVE young man. There was a time when you were a very picky eater!  But you’ve been trying new foods. Everything from brown rice and carrots….to lima beans and your new favorite: hamburgers! You’re trying lots of new things and enjoying most of them.

What is bringing about this transformation in you? Is part of it being a child with diabetes? Every day you face challenges I will never understand because I can only watch from the sidelines. But I love that you are choosing to meet the battle head-on every single day. 

Yes, you have shown a tremendous amount of courage this past year, but do you know what amazes me the most?  Through all the difficult days, you have never lost, what your dad and I like to call, "the spirit of Matthew." You always have a smile on your face. You're always quick to make someone laugh. You are always up for an adventure! Roadtrip! You don't let diabetes slow you down one bit. I admire you for that.

Matthew, GOD LOVES YOU so much. I believe He is making you STRONG for a reason. He has big plans for you!  Exciting plans that are going to knock your socks off!  “And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28.

I am so thankful that God chose me to be your mom.

I love you,
Mom

We're Still Here....

Sorry I haven't been to blogland in a while.  I haven't written a post and I haven't been reading everyone else's either.  I need to get my rear-in-gear!  Life has been busy.  Good busy.....

Except for all the lows Matthew has been having.  It's been nuts!  Today was the first time he hasn't been low at lunch in a week!  Instead, a beautiful 102 greeted us on the PDM.  Much better than all the 40s and 50s he's had recently.

The "surprise" is coming up.  Yay!  We've managed to keep it a secret. I can't wait to surprise him!!  I'll post pictures when we get back.

Matthew's d-day anniversay is Saturday.  I'm getting a little emotional about it as it gets closer.....I didn't think that would happen.

I think our life has just changed so much in the past year....but God is good.  He's carried us through.

In our bible study this year, we're studying Isaiah.  One particular verse popped out at me this week.  I think it's perfect since God has carried us through this past year: 

Isaiah 46:4 
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

He really did.

Oh!  One last thing. Pam, over at Wicked Sweet, wrote a sweet letter to her daughter last summer.  She inspired me to write a similar letter to Matthew.  It was beautiful.  (I even stole some lines....hoping Pam understands that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!) 

Anyway, I will give it to him on Saturday.  I'll post it here, too.  : )

Steady Eddie

I had to increase Matthew's overnight basal settings. 

Let me say right up front that I HATE to increase his nighttime insulin.  Hate it, hate it, hate it!

This fear sets in that maybe we're giving too much....he's going to drop.....we'll miss it.  It's a fear no one understands unless you live it.

Anyway, fortunately, it was very clear that I really did need to increase it.  And you gotta do what you gotta do.

So......with great courage, I grabbed that PDM and programed in higher rates.  Deep breath.

I made the change on Thursday night.  Here are his numbers from overnight Friday.

10P  131
2A   132
5A   132
8A   130

Steady Eddie. 

I can't believe it, but I'm doing the dance of joy!

Big Realization

      Life is now one continuous math problem.

The Picture Says It All

We went hiking this weekend and I took this picture of Matthew.  It's just a perfect picture of him.  He always has a smile on his face, is quick to make you laugh, ready for an adventure.  Matthew simply loves life.  (And yes, that is a mutant bat on his shirt.  Totally Matthew.)

This is a picture I took last week.  His BG was in the 50s and dropping.  He was so tired and had a bad headache.  It's hard to see him this way.

Can You Keep A Secret?

We're coming up on one year since Matthew was diagnosed with diabetes. March 5 marks the day our life changed forever.

Boy has it been a rough year, but God has faithfully gotten us through.

I've heard of people who mark the day with a gift. Others ignore the d-day diagnosis. Some people are simply sad about the drastic changes.

We are choosing to celebrate!

We're going to celebrate Matthew's life and the amazing courage he's shown this past year.

And soooooooooo.......... We're going to Great Wolf Lodge!

Yay! Matthew's been begging us to go, so he's going to FREAK OUT!

And we're happy, too. Because of his school schedule, we can go during the week. Can you say cheaper and not as crowded? Woo Hoo!

I'm really looking forward to this. It makes me so happy to do something special for him. He really deserves it.

I swear, if I was faced with the same situation, I don't think I would be half as brave. Honestly.

So....that's the deal. A Great Wolf Lodge surprise!

But shhhhhhhhhh......don't tell......It's a secret!

Surprise!

What makes a great day? A surprise package from a friend.

For no reason at all....just because. Books, tea, cute shirt. Wow!

Thanks, Lisa!



(FYI....The bug book is FANTASTIC! Matthew already looked up the bug I've always called an "air-bug" because there's nothing to the little thing....it's all air. Anyway, apparently it's called a Crane Fly. Who knew?!)

One Night Of Funny Dreams

Matthew dreamed he was on Wipeout.

Kevin dreamed that Mike Holmes (from HGTV) fixed up our house.

And I dreamed that I met Shania Twain.

Couple of Funny Ideas

Matthew has had some interesting ideas the past couple of days. Thought they might make you smile.

"Mom, I'm thinking of putting a toll-booth at my bedroom door." I start to laugh. "I'm serious. I've been thinking about it for a month."

"Dad! I want to make a super-stinky formula that will smell so bad....when someone gets a whif...they'll FAINT!"

Hey....maybe I can use it on the insurance company!

I hope you have a GREAT weekend!

Frustrated

I'm mad at our insurance company.

For the most part, it's good. Once we pay that enormous deductible, it's not too much out-of-pocket.

But here's what makes me mad.....our doctor said we needed more test strips. Wrote the script....filled out the quantity override form....and insurance said......

No.

How dare they?! They don't know my child! They don't know the streak of highs we've had....the streak of lows.....we're doing basal tests.....Matthew actually likes to play outside and we have to check.......the list goes on and on.....

We need more strips! The child hasn't even been sick and we need more strips!

Of course, we can buy more strips (and we do) but those suckers are EXPENSIVE! One dollar a strip.

How dare our insurance company think that they know more than our doctor.

You know what bothers me the most?

Matthew is going to have to deal with these headaches for the rest of his life.

You've Got to See This

Here is a fantastic video that all parents of children with diabetes need to see.

Joe gave this presentation at a recent conference. It runs about 39 minutes and truly is fabulous!

He has a great way of making you smile, while learning about the reality of diabetes.

(At one point, he tells how many shots he has endured over the years. Then, after he takes a long drink, points out how amazing it is that his body has no leaks!)

Joe covers lots of topic, including family life and how to transfer responsibility of diabetes during the teenage years.

DON'T MISS THIS!

Pumping Update

It's been about 7 weeks since we starting pumping with Omnipod.

Matthew likes it a lot. He still hestiates at site changes because he's had a couple that have hurt, but for the most part, he likes it.

I'll be honest, though, the transition from shots to pumping has not been easy.

At our pump class, the CDE (a type 1 herself) said the first 3 months of pumping would be 3 times the work. She said things would probably get worse before getting better.

She was right.

But the past few days....and yes, I'm a little fearful to write this....things are finally...dare I say it......settling down.

I think I have basals set. Pretty darn close. (I am living and breathing Meri's 3-day-rule. Which, by the way, our CDE believes it as well!)

Carb ratios seems to be working.

And let me tell you....it's about time. A look back over the logbook shows me the dirty details of what we've been going through the last 7 weeks:

17 days with BGs over 250.

5 of those days, we saw BGs over 350.

16 days where Matthew had low BG. Oh how he hates going low.

But God has been good and the numbers are getting better.

Until the next growth spurt, right?